Cynthia’s mission is to guide you on the path towards building a family that supports one another, solves problems together, and where each family member feels fortunate to have created such an amazing family.
Learn how to:
Family Success Coach
Through a strong desire in life to create a great relationship with her own child, Cynthia’s journey to developing herself as a parent began early on. By building Bridges 2 Understanding and cooperation, rooted in mutual respect, she was able to achieve the connection she longed for with her teenage daughter. As an Educator, Coach, Speaker and Author, Cynthia works with parents of children starting from age four to young adult.
She understands the challenges of parenting and provides solutions that are unique, effective, individualized, and enduring. You can achieve results that will change the course of your relationship with your children and your family’s dynamic now and for generations to come.
Since 1994, Cynthia has educated hundreds of parents on how to create a strong foundation of mutually respectful and supportive families.
Her greatest skill and benefit to you, though, is more than her education and experience. It is her amazing ability to be inspired by your story. She uses this inspiration of wisdom, combined with her vast knowledge, to spontaneously invent unique ideas of how to think about, speak, and interact with your family.
These insights are spot-on and you will immediately feel and think that, “Cynthia gets me. Yes, that is how my child is. Yes, I want to try that at home.” Cynthia loves being inspired to give you her best wisdom.
Cynthia’s “Formal” Education
Parent Education Program Instructor Certificates
Her education includes a B.A. in Psychology, Training and Human Resource Development Certificate, California and New Mexico teaching credentials, numerous parent education certificates, and life lessons gained from raising a successful daughter who values her mom’s opinion. You can read Cynthia’s popular advice column in Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. (the online link for my column is http://ponthep.com/category/columns/middle-school-mom/
Create your desired results through: Private coaching by phone, video-call, or in person. Parent education classes. Inviting Cynthia to speak at your school, business or organization.
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “There must be a way to raise a child that is built on closeness, confidence and cooperation,” you are right! I can confidently say that now – 22 years after my daughter was born – I have realized this goal. But the path to get here was far more complicated than I ever imagined – even with my great intentions and my training as a child educator.
I share my story here to show you the parenting myths that led me astray, the truths I discovered in dispelling them, and techniques that you can use to build world peace in your home.
Why It’s Wrong Important brain research has revealed the relationship of the limbic system, the emotional center of the brain, and the prefrontal cortex. Each of us needs to release our emotional tensions before our prefrontal cortex, our thinking brain, will work well. No wonder upset people don’t make very good decision! Not until she was in middle school did I question leaving Jen alone to cry. This is how I was raised. Research shows that people need a caring, confidential and nonjudgmental listener in order to release productively. I challenged my upbringing and learned how to give Jen an emotionally safe environment. I focus on what not to say and what to say to encourage sharing. Our trust has developed so we can now solve problems together. Learning to emotionally connect and support is the foundation for our strong bond.
Key Take-aways: Work on the hurts of your own childhood so they don’t get in the way of listening. Listen with warmth, confidence and safety. Trust that it is during the difficult times that we become the closest. Deeply knowing and practicing listening with support instead of judgment is the fundamental key to building bridges of understanding between people. The relationship is the key.
Why It’s Wrong: This myth is in total opposition of research that proves people learn best in a supportive and emotionally connected environment. I would separate Jen when she was misbehaving, only to see pain and suffering on her face. I was using the removal of my love, approval and connection to try to control her behavior. I learned that punishment looks backwards at past misbehavior and is based on children hurting in order to learn. Real discipline looks forward and teaches with care ways to increase future positive behavior. When I started showing my love, even as I corrected her misbehavior, Jen was less likely to become defensive and more likely to understand and improve. She still felt connected as she was upset, so her limbic system could release allowing a better chance of improved future behavior. Punishment and control ended up hurting our relationship and were far less effective than solving problems together.
Key Take-aways: Let go of the old myth that children need to suffer in order to learn. This is punishment. To build a cooperative family, choose discipline instead. “Effective Discipline needs to do four things: maintain a sense of connection; be respectful; be effective long term; and teach social and life skills which develop good character.” Jane Nelsen, Ed.D.
Why It’s Wrong: Let’s begin by realizing that we can control some children, while they are young, through threats, fear, intimidation; bribes; all actions that break healthy relationships. One reason punished children fail to learn internal control is because they do not have the emotional support needed to self reflect and understand the effects of their behavior on others. Fortunately, I have a strong willed child who would not allow such controlling behavior from me. When I tried to control her, it only led to fights with both of us miserable afterwards. I started learning how to work cooperatively with her. I gave her the freedom of choosing when she would do the chores and gently reminded her to pick up the towel. My respectful nature won her support, cooperation and appreciation for my needs and feelings as well as hers.
Key Take-aways: A cooperative system is based on mutual respect, not control. This means putting the quality of the relationship first. Before saying or doing anything, ask yourself: “Will it help or hurt our relationship? Will it bring about the results I am hoping for?” Choose beliefs and actions that build connection.
Being a great parent doesn’t mean your children will do what you want. If you are lucky like me, you have a child who has a mind of her own and needs to learn about life through trial and error. This is not a problem to be fixed – it’s an opportunity for me to learn compassion and patience. Each parental challenge I face makes me stronger and wiser. My belief in her ability to learn and grow from her struggles allows me to stand by her; giving her a shoulder to lean on which is the greatest gift a parent can offer their child.
There are 3 ways you can learn how to give the gift of unconditional love to your son or daughter. Register for a parent education class, invite me to speak to your organization or call me for private coaching sessions. I am here to help you create a home where everyone feels welcomed and at ease.