It can be hard to stay respectful when you feel upset with your kids.
I suggest you make a determination to yourself that , no matter what, I will stay respectful to my children. This means not yelling, shaming, accusing, or in any other way belittling my children.
This is a tall order that I am suggesting and yet if you make this determination, it will force your to stop and find another way. A way that will feel respectful to everyone and that you will feel good about yourself afterwards. Peace rather than war will abound in your home.
It starts with you; the parent.
Some respectful discipline ideas.
Show mutual respect. No poison words.
Do what is best for the child, not fear based.
Remove yourself from the conflict and talk about it after cooling off. Don’t fight or give in.
Use 10 words or fewer; also use humor.
Stop telling your child what to do.
Give honest compliments.
Decide what you will do instead of making them do it. Act, don’t talk.
Set nonnegotiable rules and clearly state this.
If you say it, mean it, if you mean it, do it.
Point to the misbehavior, not the person.
What other ways are you respectful to your children? There are many more.
For more thoughts on being a respectful parent, consider reading Alfie Kohn’s article on What Makes a Terrific Parent.
You can also find Alfie Kohn’s large selection of education and parenting books here.
©2015 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with parents and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parenting coaching sessions. She writes the Middle School Mom column for the Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. She works with parents of 4 – 25 year-old children. Contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com, cynthia@bridges2understanding,com, or 650. 679.8138 to learn more about creating the relationship you want with your children.