A System for Making Parenting Decisions with Confidence

The Many Parenting Decisions We Face

If you are like many parents, you are frequently asking yourself many of these questions:

1. Should I listen to my child’s opinion or set a firm “No”?
2. Should I be more flexible?
3. What classes to take, what to wear, what friends to hang out with, etc? Should I let my child make this decision?
4. Can they go to a place on their own?
5. Will listening to them “vent” help them or make it worse?
6. Should I insist that they do chores?
7. Should I let them “off the hook” because they have so much homework?
8. How many extra activities can they manage?
9. Am I doing too much and being taken advantage of?
10. Am I taking care of myself enough?
11. How do I teach them to be responsible?
12. How do I stop from arguing and defending my decisions?
13. Should I spend more quality time with them?
14. Am I buying too much for them?
15. How can I help them develop greater self-confidence?
16. Am I bossing them around too much?
17. Do they have the freedom to develop their personalities?
18. Am I giving them opportunities to make their own decisions?

And the list goes on……..

Parenting Often Means Making Uncertain Decisions

Being a parent is FULL of making decisions that we don’t know whether they are “right” or not. I still wonder if I should have put my daughter in a different middle school because she was bullied in 5th grade and stayed with the same group in 6th grade. Would her life have been different? Would it have been better? Should I have insisted?

I won’t ever know but I do know that…..

Watching Children Grow Into Confident Adults

She is now a grown young woman whom I’m proud of and I’ll tell you why.

I am proud of her because she says to me, “I know I can figure it out.” Her figuring it out includes talking about the situation and gaining wisdom from herself and others to make the best decisions she can at that moment based on her values. What more can we ask of our children or ourselves?

Why Struggles Help Children Grow

I learned as she was experiencing her life, that I couldn’t keep her from struggles and that’s okay. Struggles are the road to growth and success. What I could do was guide her on how to face her hardships with courage rather than run away from them out of fear.

Too many children are anxious now about life. Many fear they will make the wrong decisions or worry that they cannot handle distress. The phrase “I don’t know” is used too often because decision-making and problem-solving skills are still developing.

When facing a challenging situation at school, some children may feel so anxious that they refuse to go. Even with encouragement, fear can keep them stuck. Without the experience of handling distress and working through it, confidence in their ability to cope does not have the chance to grow.

Learning Effective Parenting Approaches

I didn’t just “know” how to build my daughter’s courage which developed her confidence. So, I studied parenting approaches and accessed them based on my values. I was so dedicated to finding the answers to what would work for her, that I became certified in 5 parenting education programs.

Working With Children Instead of Controlling Them

I learned that I needed to work with her rather than control her. I had to trust her growth process and let go of my fear. So, I had to guide her as an ally rather than an adversary so I could influence her. I had to know her and make decisions that respected our entire family.

Every Child Is Different

I can’t tell you the answer to many of the questions above for your specific child. You will decide based on your child’s maturity level, personality, and abilities.

A Clear System for Making Parenting Decisions

However, I can provide you with a clear system that guides you in evaluating each situation. With this new approach, you will make the best decisions with the information you have at that moment as you continue to learn and grow. This is the Family Harmony System.

Happy parenting!

Cynthia

Check out my new bonus parenting class, Family Hassles to Harmony: 2 Exclusive Actions That Work for parents of children 9 to 15 years old. To find the date and time of the next workshop, visit the classes page.

Cynthia is available for private coaching sessions, so you can quickly get the answers you need and make those much-needed changes right away. Click HERE for a complimentary 45-minute Fast-Track Clarity Session to learn what you can do now to create more harmony in your home.

Learn about how you can solve your parenting challenges at your own pace with the Win, Win, Win Parenting Program.