Ally Parenting – A Non-Adversarial Approach to Transform Conflict Into Cooperation
by Cynthia Klein
Publication date: February 2017
Table of Contents
Introduction to Ally Parenting
How to Use This Book – A Quick Start Approach
Finding Your Solutions Action Process – A Step-by-Step Guide
Section 1: The Ally Parenting Approach – Your Parenting Role
Ask the Right Parenting Questions to Find the Right Parenting Solutions
Are You an Ally or an Adversary?
The Adversary to Ally Transformation Approach
Self-Knowledge is the First Step Toward Change
Soft Power Creates Cooperation, Not Conflict
Child Rearing: An Opportunity for Personal Growth
Your Childhood Impacts Your Parenting
Choose Your Parental Role: Director, Collaborator, or Supporter
Section 2: Creating Open Communication
The Emotional Support Process Connects You to Your Child
Awareness of Communication Blocks is the First Step
Empathetic Responses Improve Connection and Communication
Why Kids Reject Our Help – And How to Win Their Trust
Parent Success Stories of Using Empathetic Responses
Section 3: Understanding Yourself and Your Child
The Key to Making Positive Parenting Changes Stick
Problem Solving Together Requires Flexible Thinking
Why Children Do What They Do – It’s Not About You
The Strong-Willed Child: Attitudes and Common Power Struggle Triggers
How to Melt the Walls Between Mothers and Daughters
Supporting the Easily Distracted Child
Section 4: The Director Role – Setting Limits and Boundaries
Choose the Discipline Path for Family Harmony
How to Give Directions that are Followed (The” Just-the-Facts” Approach)
Director Parenting Role: The After-Then Strategy
Stop Negotiating and State the Limit Clearly
Your Personal Boundaries Create Appreciative Children
How to Set Your Family’s Electronics Use Guidelines
You Can Keep Video Games From Overtaking Your Family
The Importance of Chores and How to Get Them Done
Dad Sets Clear Expectations and Learns to Use Empathy
Parent Success Stories in the Director Role
Section 5: The Collaborator and Supporter Roles: Solving Problems Effectively
Teach Children How to Successfully Handle Life’s Challenges
How to Find Solutions with Your Children: The Collaborator Parenting Role
The Three Levels of Collaborative Problem Solving
Why “Why” Doesn’t Work and Other Unhelpful Questions
Family Meetings Build Cooperation and Family Unity
The Collaborative Parenting Role: Managing Sibling Conflicts
Choose Supportive Problem Solving Rather Than Directing
How to Be Your Child’s Trusted Supporter and Confidant
The Supporter/Confidant Parenting Role: The “Boredom Problem” Example
Parent Success Stories About Solving Problems
Acknowledgments
About the Author
©2017 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Family Success Coach since 1994. She works with parents and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parenting coaching sessions. She works with parents of 5 – 25 year-old children.
To learn how Cynthia can help you solve your specific challenges, contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com, , or 650. 679.8138 to have a complementary 45-minute discovery session. Why keep suffering? It’s time to change!
