Studies have shown that people who feel appreciation have greater joy in their life.
Imagine how happy your family will be when each member appreciates each other. Imagine less criticism and more connection, caring and cooperation.
To make these changes, think of your family as a garden where you plant the seeds of appreciation, weed the words of condemnation and fertilize with words of loving structure. You can be the gardener leading your family towards greater joy through your example of skillful parenting.
The processes of planting, weeding and fertilizing are most effective when occurring simultaneously.
However, change takes time and effort so choose whichever part of the process is easiest first. Try making determined efforts for two weeks and journal the changes you see and feel in yourself, your partner and your children. The results will encourage you to continue.
Planting the seeds of appreciation and affirmation in your own heart first can be challenging.
To appreciate your child takes effort especially if you were raised with criticism as the primary parenting tactic to get obedience. Some believe that pointing out children’s faults will result in kids turning out “right”. I propose that the reverse is true. When kids feel respected, loved and affirmed, they feel better about themselves and this is what brings out their best.
A family where everyone appreciates each other is a safe haven. Appreciation multiplies when it is given freely. Words of appreciation are similar to words of affirmation of your child’s capabilities in that your children feel that you care about them, love them and even like them.
©2013 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with parents who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parent coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. Contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com, cynthia@bridges2understanding,com, or 650. 679.8138 to learn more about creating the relationship you want with your children.
