My article will appear in the December, 2013 issue of Parenting on the Peninsula magazine which is in print on the San Francisco peninsula and online at www.ponthep.com. Link to Part 1
When you appreciate, make sure you are not saying words to manipulate your child to do what you want. Let the appreciation stand alone. “Thank you so much for helping me with the groceries.” Period!
Examples of appreciation are:
I appreciate you when you …
I feel appreciated when you …
That was a big help when you …
I love getting hugs; thank you.
I noticed how you helped your sister with her socks. You’re really a great brother (sister). (Ignore any negative behavior at this moment. Only focus on the positive.)
I see that you were able to fix your own snack. That shows maturity when you can take care of yourself. (Don’t focus on the mess in the kitchen at this time.)
©2013 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with parents who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parent coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. Contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com, [email protected],com, or 650. 341.0779 to learn more about creating the relationship you want with your children.