Let’s go beyond “Please” and “Thank You” It’s common to tell your kids, “Say thank you”, “Say please”, and “Ask me when you want to go to a friend’s house rather than telling me.” I’m sure you have many more directions that you give your kids to mold them into being appreciative children. You don’t…
Have you gotten yourself into a rut of doing most of the planning and preparing for the holidays? Perhaps you end up “asking” for help and you get resistance such as “Why do I have to? Can’t you do it? “I’m too busy.” “I don’t want to help.” In this scenario, you are acting as…
When I talk to parents about improving their parent-child relationships, there is often a look of uncertainty on their faces. They question whether they can really change. Here are examples of what they say to me. Which ones do you recognize in yourself? Lack of skills I don’t know if I can change.…
On Wednesday, October 25th, I taught the “How to Relieve Tween’s Stress and Anxiety Confidently and Create Calm” class. I included a new interactive activity on Zoom where folks could annotate on the slide with a circle, underline, check, etc. to show their choices. Many parents passionately underlined and pointed to “not doing chores” as…
When used correctly, the After–Then Director Role Strategy is an effective soft-power approach to guiding kids to do chores in particular. I used this strategy to get Jen to do her chores of cleaning the bathroom and emptying the dishwasher. instead of nagging her. Many clients love this strategy because it is so effective…
Yesterday I spoke for several schools on the topic Win Kids Over Without Punishments or Rewards. I asked myself, what do I want to tell them in 45 minutes about the keys to “winning” kids over? How do we do that rather than trying to control, threaten, manipulate, or shame them into doing what we…
Each sibling conflict gives us an opportunity to either teach our children or to try to control our children. It’s not uncommon for kids to try and “make” the parent be the judge when there is a conflict and to take their side. It’s essential to not do this because your children will feel…
Do you have a pretty good relationship with your kids? If you counted the amount of time that feels good and connected versus the amount of time that feels stressful and disconnected how would the scale look? Would it be balanced or more time spent feeling stressed out, on eggshells, or in outright conflict? …
If you are struggling with what words will best support your children’s growth, you are not alone. They are individuals who have a mind of their own. We can’t mold them and that can be frustrating especially when we see them taking a course that you don’t think is best for them. I…
Have you had visions of what you want your relationship to look, sound, and feel like when your children are grown? These visions, or goals, can be very helpful in figuring out how to parent now so you can achieve the parent-adult goal of your dreams. Here are 3 helpful steps to guide you…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.