When my daughter was young, I knew she had a mind of her own. She wasn’t going to do things to please me. I know that some parents use the “this would help me” approach to getting kids to follow directions. It may work when some kids are young yet it will quickly fade as…
Were you listened to by an adult when you were young? Most of us weren’t because our parents weren’t listened to when they were young. And so the cycle of disconnection continues. But, it can stop with you! You can learn the communication skills and understanding that allowing children to talk about their ideas…
Are you amongst the many parents who grapple with getting kids to do chores or comply with directions? I talk about this problem often because it’s so common for parents to resort to using hurtful words. The strategy of “scolding” kids is a form of punishment based on the concept that when you make kids/teens…
As I was coaching Beth, a mom of a 15-year-old daughter, I heard her amazing success story that I just had to relate to you today. Beth found my book, Ally Parenting, online, read it, loved it, and contacted me for coaching on how to melt the wall that had developed between herself and…
Do you ever hope for a more connected relationship? You would like to be respected because you are respecting your child but it isn’t happening. Why is this? What could you possibly be doing that’s contributing to this lack of connection and respect? Notice where I’m placing the responsibility for change to happen.…
We all want children who appreciate us and aren’t spoiled. I’ve written another post about setting boundaries as an essential strategy to make sure you are not taken advantage of. When you are taken advantage of, it’s because you have allowed this to happen to you by not setting your own personal boundaries. I encourage…
“Thank you for everything you do for me, mom and dad. I really appreciate you.” (Grandpa, Nona, etc.) How many of you hear these words from your children and teens on a regular basis? If you do, you have rare children, your kids are grown, or you have learned how to teach your children to…
Parents often report that they say, “I love you” to their children. These are beautiful words for your children to hear. Did you grow up hearing “I love you”? My parents didn’t say “I love you” until my dad was in his late 70s and my mom was in her early 90s. Their childhood culture…
I recently had lunch with a longtime friend, Beth, who shared that her step-granddaughter has an eating disorder. Beth was very dismayed about how her stepdaughter, Tina, is handling the situation. Beth does admit that she never raised a child however she does feel validated to have a negative opinion. Perhaps you have been judged…
What do you do when you and your rules aren’t respected? If you have this situation, I imagine you feel challenged with trying to gain respect. This is a complicated problem that doesn’t have one solution. In fact, it takes answering probing questions to try and find the sources of this disrespect. I’d like to…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.