Too often parents focus on setting rules and limits on their children. Spending time to nurture the relationship seems to be secondary.
Without the connection that comes from nurturing, children are less likely to care what their parents think or feel.
As kids develop into teenagers, if there is not a foundation of nurture, teens are less likely to cooperate.
They develop an attitude of not caring about their parents; this can also lead to not caring about themselves and others as well.
Think about your daily interactions with your children…
What would your nurture/structure scale look like?
I encourage you to work on balancing the scale. Below are ways to nurture as well as set structure.
Actions That Create Structure
- Setting positive, pro-active, and respectful personal boundaries.
- Be clear with when you will and will not negotiate rules.
- Teach life skills through discipline rather than harsh punishment.
- Take responsibility for your actions. Expect your teen to do the same.
Actions That Nurture
- Listen when the opportunity arises without judgment; discuss differing opinions.
- Be present during hard times. This is when bonds are created.
- Be committed to find solutions. Don’t say, “I give up”.
- Accept that their path in life is different from yours.
©2013 Cynthia Klein has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with dads, moms and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children of all ages. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking, webinars, and private parent coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the magazine Parenting on the Peninsula. Contact Cynthia at bridges 2 understanding, bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com or call 650. 341.0779.
