“I do so much for my children and they just don’t appreciate it. They only think about themselves. Sometimes I feel like I’m just here to give them what they want. Why don’t they think about me?”
When you think this way, there is a good chance that you have not set clear personal boundaries.
A personal boundary differs from a rule or limit. You set a boundary on what you will or will not do and a rule or limit on what you want your children to do or not to do. You are controlling your own behavior in response to what your child does rather than directly trying to control your child’s behavior.
Here are examples of boundaries:
“I’m not able to drive you to the store now.”
“I will make dinner after the kitchen is cleaned.”
“I’ll give you an answer after you ask nicely.”
“It’s too late for me to play a game with you.”
“I won’t pay $70 for shoes. I’ll give you $35 towards the shoes.”
Each boundary statement focuses on your needs and actions.
Rather than trying to get power over your child, you are taking control over yourself. The final goal is the same. However, the boundary setting approach is more respectful to both of you and avoids power struggles as long as you stay the course.
Do you find boundary setting challenging?
If you do, you are not alone.
If you start out with a boundary statement and give in to negative reactions from your kids, then you’ll end up in an argument. Setting boundaries starts with courage and develops confidence once you see the positive results.
What boundary are you good at setting?
Copyright 2015 Cynthia Klein, bridges2understanding.com 650.679.8138. Cynthia changes family interactions from conflict to cooperation. If you are feeling stuck, give her a call to learn what you are doing that isn’t working and how to fix it.
Copyright © 2026, Cynthia Klein, All rights reserved. Please contact Cynthia to use any of her blog post.
About Cynthia Klein
Cynthia Klein’s mission is to contribute to World Peace and building healthy family relationships is the place to begin. As a parenting expert for over 30 years, parents have learned from Cynthia how to communicate more effectively as an ally rather than an adversary. Her unique Family Harmony System teaches parents of 5 and older how to have open dialogue, solve problems together, support one another, and build mutual respect. Cynthia is the author of Ally Parenting and the video-based self-paced program Win, Win, Win, Parenting. She has presented over 700 talks and coached hundreds of parents privately towards greater family connection and harmony. To learn more about her services of coaching and speaking, contact Cynthia Klein at , visit her website at bridges2understanding.com.
