Your DIrector parenting role is to teach your children to become responsible and capable by learning important life skills, such as cleaning up after themselves, using respectful language, getting along with others, etc. I encourage discussing these important values with your children often (while keeping in mind that they may not embrace your values right away).…
When your child/teen has a problem they want to solve, embrace the supporter parenting role so you can help them develop their thinking in their prefrontal cortex. Here is an example of a parent following the first 3 steps of the 5 Step Problem Solving Process. Step 1: Stop blocking communication Step 2: Listen Openly…
When kids don’t cooperate with you, it’s easy to take it personally as though they are against you. I call this response the “parent’s victim mentality.” When you see yourself as a victim, you think your kids are acting against you-that you are the target of their behavior. You may think, “They are being disrespectful…
“I do so much for my children, and they just don’t appreciate it. They only think about themselves. Sometimes I feel like I’m just here to give them what they want. Why don’t they think about me?” When you think this way, there is a good chance that you have not set clear personal boundaries.…
I didn’t realize how much personal growth I would have to go through in order to become a parent I was proud of… Like every other parent, I made (and make) mistakes. My pride comes from being a parent who continually self-reflects and tries to learn from my challenges with my daughter. Rearing children is…
Most parents of strong-willed children find them very challenging. Parents have conflicting desires between wanting easy- going children so they will do what they are told, and at the same time strong-willed kids so they will stand up for themselves and not be swayed by negative influences. Since this duo personality doesn’t exist, it’s best…
Book excerpt from my upcoming book We all have visions of how we want to interact with our kids and how we want them to respond. No one wants to yell, threaten, shame or feel powerless, hurt, or give up. So why is it so difficult to follow our vision of who we want to…
The core of many family problems I hear about is the inability to listen openly to a suffering child without trying to eliminate their pain in some way. Instead of making a child feel better, your loving “help” can have the opposite effect. Your attempts at fixing can make them feel undervalued, unimportant, and unsupported;…
The Collaborator Parenting Role: Visiting Grandma versus the Movies Conflict Example Parents and children commonly experience conflicts on how to spend the weekends. As kids mature, they want more time with friends than with the family. When they are young, your parenting role is more often as a director where you decide what to do.…
Decide on Your Parenting Role: Director, Collaborator, or Supporter / Confidant In order to guide our children toward success, we need to understand our role in each challenge we encounter with them. There are basically three parental roles: 1) The Director: Sets rules, guidelines, and expectations; 2) The Collaborator: Discusses challenges with children and decides…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.