Yesterday I spoke for several schools on the topic Win Kids Over Without Punishments or Rewards. I asked myself, what do I want to tell them in 45 minutes about the keys to “winning” kids over? How do we do that rather than trying to control, threaten, manipulate, or shame them into doing what we…
To win cooperation from strong-willed children, focus on not being adversarial, pleading, or fearful of resistance. These types of responses feel disrespectful or weak which diminishes your authority and often opens the door to power struggles. Avoid these common responses. Answering your kid’s “why?” when they already know the answer. You’ll end up defending…
Are you being “forced” to judge sibling conflicts? As difficult as they are, each sibling conflict gives us an opportunity to either teach our children or to try to control our children. When we use discipline parenting strategies we are approaching the conflict as a teachable moment; an opportunity for our children to…
If you feel that you have let your kids, teens, or tweens have more power than they should in certain areas, you are not alone! The big challenge then becomes how to pull back their power once they “taste” power and they don’t want to give it up! This could happen with problems such…
In my survey about the top challenges you are experiencing during the summer, the #1 challenge is trying to get kids off mobile devices! I’m not surprised. So, you are asking, “How do I get my kid/teen off screens? Nothing is working.” Whenever someone asks me a “how do I …” question, my…
If you have ever felt or said, “You’re manipulating me!”, you are not alone. It’s’ a familiar feeling and in a way, true. Your children are masters at manipulating you! Children learn at an early age what to say and do to get what they want. It’s a human drive to fulfill our needs…
Raising children has its wonderful aspects and its challenges. One key challenge is finding the time. Time for taking kids to sports, cooking, cleaning, working, enforcing rules, personal care, reading, hugging, and getting homework done to name only a few. Your time is precious. One question to consider is how much time do you…
My articles are full of pieces of parenting advice. I say “pieces” because solving parenting challenges involves more than one “quick tip”. The solution-finding process is like a puzzle with a framework, the border pieces, that give structure to the process. The structure I provide is the Family Harmony Formula. What you’ll find is…
It’s common to get overwhelmed and feel stuck when you have a child who challenges your current parenting skills. Perhaps you’re trying to leave the house on time, get your child to bed, or effectively say ”No” to a request. In response maybe, like Silvia, you have a child who argues, yells, and gets very…
When my daughter was young, I knew she had a mind of her own. She wasn’t going to do things to please me. I know that some parents use the “this would help me” approach to getting kids to follow directions. It may work when some kids are young yet it will quickly fade as…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.