“How do I get my daughter / son to clean their room?” “How do I get my kids to stop fighting?” “How do I get my child to do their homework and stop chatting on the internet?” Do you notice a pattern from these common questions parents ask? It is “how do I control my…
Determining Who Makes the Final Decision with Kids of All Ages Before engaging in solving a problem involving your teen, it is very important to first determine who will be making the final decision on what solution to choose. Will it be you, your teen or the both of you together? Whoever owns the problem;…
I get very frustrated with my 10 year-old son. He is very smart, thinks about ideas and always wants answers to his questions. He also expresses his emotions often which are difficult to hear. Many times I am in a rush and I just don’t have time so I get angry with him. I think,…
Use “Soft Power” for Life Time Connection Soft Power parenting strategies focus on building the parent-child relationship as the foundation. The child is viewed as a person with feelings and needs rather than an object for the parent to control and coerce with the focus on lifetime influence rather than immediate control. This process involves…
We know that we constantly read body language and tone of voice to interpret what others think and feel. Let’s not forget to think about the actual words we use as well. Discipline language is the language of learning, compassion, and cooperation. Boundary setting language is also discipline language. Now, punishment language has the intent…
Too often parents focus on setting rules and limits on their children. Spending time to nurture the relationship seems to be secondary. Without the connection that comes from nurturing, children are less likely to care what their parents think or feel. As kids develop into teenagers, if there is not a foundation of nurture, teens…
On February 6, 2013 I taught an amazing group of parents at Parents Place in Palo Alto, CA. about the connection between emotions and problem solving. We cannot problem solve until we acknowledge and try to understand our children’s emotions. Many parents want to be logical with their children. When their children are upset, they…
In my teen webinar series, week 1, we discussed how we need to shift our inflexible thinking to flexible thinking in order to be able to problem solve together with kids. When we stay stuck, then the wall goes up between us and our kids. No solutions can be found. It is up to parents…
Nebraska Office of Education 6.14.2012 There is overwhelming evidence that a parent’s involvement in a child’s education makes a very positive difference. In the past, often an unstated assumption was made that parent involvement meant mothers involvement. Research shows that the involvement of fathers, however, no matter their income or cultural background, can play a…
Most of us experienced disrespectful parenting when we were raised. That seems to be our default strategy. Often parents tell me how upset they get with themselves when they yell, pull their child, or threaten them. The frustration gets overwhelming and they lose it. When we are about to lose it, this means we have…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.