Raising Children From: A Piece of Mirror and Other Essays. by Daisaku Ikeda, President of the SGI World Wide Organization World Renowned Author and Poet Parts 1- 2 from Cynthia Klein’s March and April 2012 newsletters. “In order for a child to develop an independent self, it may be necessary at times to discipline…
Everyone has a need or goal that helps them feel powerful in their lives, especially children. As parents, we have the opportunity and the responsibility to show children how to gain the goal of power positively or negatively. The other four primary goals are: Contact/Attention Protection Withdrawal And also Challenge (for teenagers and older) Being…
We can’t always avoid or defuse power struggles. As human beings, it’s completely natural for us all to succumb to that need to feel powerful from time to time. Some deal with it better than others. It’s important when struggling with issues like this, to first look at your own need for power, dominance and…
Power struggles can be avoided by using the gentleness of the sun rather than the power of the wind. If your child feels that you are trying to control them; that you are not on their side, then the power struggle begins. Each person needs power. We can choose either a soft power approach or…
Aesop’s Fable The North Wind and the Sun illustrates the different results when adults act like the wind versus the sun during a power struggle. Read my other post, Aesop’s Fable The North Wind and the Sun to get the complete story. Here are common power-struggle triggering thoughts along with replacement thoughts that will avoid…
How often do you yell from the kitchen that it’s time to turn off the t.v. or come to dinner, or do their homework. It takes too much effort to actually walk into the room where our kids are and look them in the eye and get confirmation. No wonder we get frustrated when we…
Around 40 parents came tonight to the Redwood City, CA Boys and Girls club. This was amazing considering this is Giants country and this was game 1 against the Detroit Tigers. Our focus was on how to discipline rather than punish their children. Many were Spanish speakers and listened through headset translations.Whether English or Spanish…
Last Wednesday, October 10, 2012, I spoke at the East Menlo Park Boys and Girls Club on the San Francisco Peninsula. My topic was Winning Kids Over without Punishments or Rewards. Here is a picture of parents discussing concepts together so the new information is truly learned. Here are a few points from my talk.…
It is so easy to blame our children when we don’t like their actions. The “problem behavior” can develop into the “problem child.” As soon as you label your child as a problem, you have hit a deadlock. With this perspective, your thinking becomes inflexible and chances of finding solutions are slim. The focus becomes,…
I often hear parents complaining about children “manipulating” them. This word puts kids instantly into a negative light. The definition of “manipulate” is to control or influence somebody or something in an ingenious or devious way. Why do parents experience children’s strong attempts to get their needs met as devious? Some parents believe that controlling…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.