I’m a divorced dad with two boys ages 9 and 11. My youngest son has challenges with transitions and wanting his own way. This causes power struggles with getting him out of bed. I came to Cynthia for help with his defiant behavior. Cynthia’s been teaching me how to state an expectation or limit on…
Dimitri Christakis is a pediatrician, researcher, and parent whose influential findings are helping identify optimal media exposure for children. His research with mice shows us how over stimulation through “intense” t.v. watching can negatively influence children’s ability to pay attention in school. It makes me wonder how video games are impacting kid’s ability to pay…
A common source of irritation for parents is the repeated “Why?” they get from their kids after they have set a limit. The purpose of this badgering is to get their parents to change their minds. As soon as you do change your decision due to getting worn down, then they are rewarded for their…
Be an Ally Rather than an Adversary when using the Powerful Director Parenting Role – After – then skit. When I work with parents, I present an approach I call being your children’s ally. You set limits and expectations in a manner that usually feels like you are on their side. They can still get…
As a director, you set up structure to guide your children to fulfill their responsibilities when they don’t want to. Even after problem solving together, they may ignore you or resist your reminders. This is the time to use an effective director strategy. The after-then or work-before-play strategy is one of my favorites because it…
Here is a great post from Girls Leadership. It supports the listening and problem solving skills that I teach moms and dads. Pop Quiz: Who does a teen girl turn to first when she’s feeling low on courage? If you guessed friends, you’d be wrong. The answer was moms. Surprised? So were we. In Girls…
Parents desire to have loving relationships with their children so they will be trusted and their children will seek them out for support and advice. While teaching my parenting classes, it becomes clear that well-meaning parents are resorting to ineffective punishment strategies, which hurts the relationship, because they just don’t know what else to do.…
In order to figure out the best way to Replace your challenge, the first step is to figure out who has ownership of the problem. Michael Popkin, PhD. Creator of Active Parenting describes ownership as the person or persons who are directly affected by the problem and/or who are making a request to have the problem…
Children can challenge our desire for calmness and cooperation when their needs clash with ours. When you view these parenting struggles as opportunities for personal growth, then you will be open to embracing new parenting ideas and to discarding the old. My goal is to offer you an ally parenting approach that develops family harmony through respectful problem solving…
Teenagers’ prefrontal cortex is in high developmental drive during the teen years. You can tell this because they can argue as if they were a lawyer. This means that their reasoning, logic, judgment, and planning skills are being developed and practiced. Teens can be so good at sounding logical, or blaming you for their misery,…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.