Summertime presents unique challenges with children. Many of you have figured out ways to manage your challenges. Some of you would still like some advice. This posting is primarily a place where my amazing newsletter readers can support each other. I’ll chime in with my idea on how to handle “I’m bored” and getting closer…
Step 1: Figure out who should make the final decision on how to solve the problem; you, your child/teen, or both of you together. This determines your parenting role as a director, supporter, or collaborator. Problem ownership can change as your child matures. Be willing to set limits, find solutions together, or support your child/teen’s…
Teens need to feel accepted and that you are listening with a respectful and curious mind for them to talk with you. A skill worth learning. At the end you’ll find a link to avoiding nasty communication blocks. “I’m guessing that you might feel …… if you did……..” “What are your thoughts on alcohol and…
Last night I worked with 30 amazing parents at the Sunnyvale Public Library on how to build greater connection and influence with their adolescents so they would have a greater chance of discussing risky behavior. It’s easy for parents to say only a few words that can discourage dialogue. Last night, May 26, 2015, these parents became…
You may be wondering whether parenting education can help you. You may be thinking, “I’m doing okay. Everyone has problems.” BUT, if you have had enough misery and are ready to make changes that will significantly make you and your family happier: Email or call me right now for a complementary 20 minute discovery session…
Goals for parent Keep parent-child relationship intact Connection is vital Influence not control Working together with child Experience conflict as a growth opportunity Accompanying emotional and physical belief “I am available emotionally as often as possible for my family members.” Qualities adults strive to develop Unconditional love of child Open to growth and change Realistic expectations Firm when needed…
Step 1: Describe the negative cycle in detail. What does your child/teen do repeatedly? How do you respond each time? How does your child/teen respond to your response? Step 2: Analyze what you are thinking and feeling about your child/teen during each step of the cycle. Are you labeling your child/teen, assuming they are doing…
Parents worry when they have a child who criticizes their siblings. It’s easy to judge and label the child as being self-centered, not caring, or just plain mean. As a result, when parents react with upset and anger to the criticism, they lose an opportunity to actually guide the child towards more compassion and empathy…
Limit setting is one of the top challenges for parents. Often, parents obeyed as children more than their kids are obeying them now. This comparison to their childhood usually causes upset feelings and thoughts about their kids which leads to ineffective language and actions. This Limit Setting Skill Level Quiz consists of common thoughts, feelings,…
It can be hard to stay respectful when you feel upset with your kids. I suggest you make a determination to yourself that , no matter what, I will stay respectful to my children. This means not yelling, shaming, accusing, or in any other way belittling my children. This is a tall order that I…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.