Making kids lives easier doesn’t teach them how to handle life challenges. Offering help occasionally to do something they know how to do is okay. Be careful to not get caught through their pleading to continue. Here are guidelines to check to see if you are strengthening or weakening your children. At the end is…
trying to get her to change. I had to change my thinking from “she’s the problem and I need to fix her” to “what can I do differently to get a more positive response from her?” I’m working on stating my expectation, then restating with even fewer words, if necessary, and not engaging. This works…
To win cooperation from strong-willed children, focus on not being adversarial, pleading, or fearful of resistance. These types of responses feel disrespectful or weak which diminish your authority and often open the door to power struggles. Avoid these common responses. Answering your kid’s “why?” when they already know the answer. You’ll end up defending yourself…
This is the on line article from the New York Times, Jan, 19, 2015 Parenting Advice from America’s Worst Mom http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/01/19/advice-from-americas-worst-mom/?_r=0 Lenore Skenazy, a New York City mother of two, earned the sobriquet “America’s Worst Mom” after reporting in a newspaper column that she had allowed her younger son, then 9, to ride the subway alone. The…
I was holiday shopping at 10:30 pm on Tuesday night and I saw several families with children ages 4 -7 at the store. This was not the first time I have seen children out way past their bedtime. I’m wondering how difficult it will be to get them to bed and what they will feel…
I learned from Patty Wipfler, who created Hand in Hand Parenting the invaluable skill of having an adult listening partner. In order to be able to listen to our children, we need a way to release our own feelings that get in the way of being present and meeting our kids’ needs. She has developed…
“Why did you hit your brother?” “Well, Mom, I’m feeling jealous that you spend so much time with him since he was born. I feel neglected and I resent you so I take out my hurt feelings on him. I’d be happier if you didn’t have him. Aren’t I enough?” Have you ever received a…
I was coaching a single dad with his 11 year-old son on how to build connection. They were going to have fun time and we were in a situation without any games available. The computer and phone were available yet electronics can stifle the creative juices and laughter from flowing between parent and child, while…
As a director, you set up structure to guide your children to fulfill their responsibilities when they don’t want to. Even after problem solving together, they may ignore you or resist your reminders. This is the time to use an effective director strategy. The after-then or work-before-play strategy is one of my favorites because it…
There are three different roles that parents can take with their children. They can be a director, a collaborator, or a supporter. The role they take depends on who is trying to fill their need or request. When parents want their children to do something that their children don’t want to do, then, the parent…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.