When I work with parents, I present an approach I call being your children’s ally. You set limits and expectations in a manner that usually feels like you are on their side. They can still get upset when their needs are blocked. Yet ultimately, they feel your love and support. I’m in the process of…
I’m speaking at Tierra Linda Middle School in San Carlos Thursday, Feb 6, 2014. We’ll be discussing how to reduce stress by learning how to be proactive and problem solve together. Step 1 is to avoid communication blocks which keep kids from feeling safe with parents. Without fefeling safe and that they won’t be judged,…
This article was published in the December 2013 issue of Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. The online version is at www.ponthep.com. Studies have shown that people who feel appreciation have greater joy in their life. Imagine how happy your family will be when each member appreciates each other. Imagine less criticism and more connection, caring…
My article will appear in the December, 2013 issue of Parenting on the Peninsula magazine which is in print on the San Francisco peninsula and online at www.ponthep.com. Link to part 1 As in every garden, there are weeds to be pulled. While focusing on appreciating and affirming your kids, it is just as important…
My article will appear in the December, 2013 issue of Parenting on the Peninsula magazine which is in print on the San Francisco peninsula and online at www.ponthep.com. Link to Part 1 When you appreciate, make sure you are not saying words to manipulate your child to do what you want. Let the appreciation stand…
Studies have shown that people who feel appreciation have greater joy in their life. Imagine how happy your family will be when each member appreciates each other. Imagine less criticism and more connection, caring and cooperation. To make these changes, think of your family as a garden where you plant the seeds of appreciation, weed…
Parenting for the 21st Century – Building Close Family Connections and Happy, Confident, Caring Kids (2 – 6 years) What does every parent want? A happy, healthy, confident kid! And research shows that kids who can handle their emotions and “bounce back” from upsetting moments actually do better in life. Since feelings fuel behaviors…
It takes courage to listen. It takes courage to become close to your children. We have to become vulnerable and feel our feelings. We also feel our children’s feelings. Most parents can’t listen to their children’s sufferings. It triggers their own deep suffering that has been lingering in their emotional limbic system for a long…
1. Stop whatever you are about to say or do with anger. It will not be effective! 2. Take time to release your own limbic system in a safe way. a. Call a listening partner or a friend to just listen. b. Check in with yourself. What are you really feeling behind the anger? What…
This is an excerpt from Daisaku Ikeda’s book A Piece of Mirror and Other Essays. The essay is titled Fatherhood. page 50 There are many ways to keep communication flowing, as the example of Indira Gandhi, and her father, Jawaharlal Nehru, India’s first prime minister, shows. He was jailed nine times during the Indian struggle…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.