Here is a blog post from Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, on how to change. To change the habit we must first bring it into consciousness again. That takes self-awareness, a fundamental of emotional intelligence. When that leader became mindful of his self-defeating habit, he realized that it was his own fear of failure that made…
Last night in my Winning Kids Over Without Rewards of Punishments class, a dad shared his fear of showing his kids how he just learned that he needed to improve his communications with them . Another dad had also grown up to believe that sharing emotions and weaknesses would cause him to lose control over…
The Family is Our First School for Emotional Learning Excerpt from Daniel Goleman’s book titled Emotional Intelligence. Why it can matter more than IQ. “Family life is our first school for emotional learning. In this intimate cauldron we learn how to feel about ourselves and how others will react to our feelings; how to think…
These four weapons are from Nancy Samalia’s book, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma.Even though we may know these tips, it’s always great to be reminded. The other four are in a complementary blog https://bridges2understanding.com/eight-weapons-in-the-war-on-anger/ Which ones do you use? 5. STAY SHORT AND TO THE POINT – Be specific. It’s pointless to tell a…
From Nancy Samalia, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma Here are the first 4 EXIT OR WAIT: The two most important four-letter words to remember when you are angry are exit and wait. When we are so incensed that we’re about to lose control, exiting or calling time out can give us a breather so…
“At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled….we are thinking in a way that makes it unlikely to be met.” Marshall B. Rosenberg. Ph.D. In a previous post, Find Out What’s Triggering Your Parental Anger, I shared common parental thoughts that can lead to feelings of hurt and frustration…
I learned about Communication Blocks many years ago when I studied the parenting program Active Parenting by Michael Popkin. PhD. Every private coaching client I have worked with has realized that they consistently block their children’s expression of their emotions. After becoming aware of not blocking communication, the next step is to learn how to…
Do you ever say to your kids, “You make me so mad I could scream” ? You probably are just about to lose it, yet who “made” you mad? When we say this, we are actually giving power of our emotions over to our kids. In reality, what they are doing or saying is triggering…
Why is listening so important? What is all the fuss about? Most parents want to correct their children when they are doing something “wrong” such as saying they don’t like someone. Imagine a world where children were not corrected consistently. Perhaps they would grow up feeling valued and that they actually had something important to…
I see life as a continuous journey of developing my emotional intelligence. Relationships blossom when people emotionally connected. I believe parents play a large part in their children’s emotional development by how proficient they are in listening to and empathizing with their children. This requires parents own continual self-reflection and self-improvement. Daniel Goleman, the author…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.