Imagine that it is early morning and you are trying to get your 5 year-old out the door. As she puts her socks on she suddenly cries out, “These are too itchy! I don’t like these socks.” Or maybe your son cries out, “This tag is poking me.” How do you respond either in your…
A True Parenting Success Story As a mother of two strong willed girls, ages 7 and 10, I thought I was helping my daughters to become better people and more responsible by trying to control them and by telling them what they should be doing. We were all frustrated with one another. Little did I…
Parenting is an opportunity for personal growth. Self reflection helps us be gentle with ourselves and forgiving. When your children “misbehave” they still love you. Please do not equate love with obedience. Children coming into our world love when loved yet they do not necessarily believe that pleasing their parents is a form of love.…
Teens are at the developmental stage where their life focus is moving away from their family of origin to creating their own family in the future. Their prefrontal cortex, their thinking and analyzing brain, won’t be fully developed until the mid-20’s. So, as parents, we watch this process with often feelings of concern, fear, and…
Children need to first know they are loved and accepted for who they are. Then, with this as a base, their natural impulse is to take that love and learn to contribute it to the world in constructive ways. Self-esteem is the best gift you can give your child. Below are example qualities of a…
Here is a blog post from Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, on how to change. To change the habit we must first bring it into consciousness again. That takes self-awareness, a fundamental of emotional intelligence. When that leader became mindful of his self-defeating habit, he realized that it was his own fear of failure that made…
Last night in my Winning Kids Over Without Rewards of Punishments class, a dad shared his fear of showing his kids how he just learned that he needed to improve his communications with them . Another dad had also grown up to believe that sharing emotions and weaknesses would cause him to lose control over…
The Family is Our First School for Emotional Learning Excerpt from Daniel Goleman’s book titled Emotional Intelligence. Why it can matter more than IQ. “Family life is our first school for emotional learning. In this intimate cauldron we learn how to feel about ourselves and how others will react to our feelings; how to think…
These four weapons are from Nancy Samalia’s book, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma.Even though we may know these tips, it’s always great to be reminded. The other four are in a complementary blog https://bridges2understanding.com/eight-weapons-in-the-war-on-anger/ Which ones do you use? 5. STAY SHORT AND TO THE POINT – Be specific. It’s pointless to tell a…
From Nancy Samalia, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma Here are the first 4 EXIT OR WAIT: The two most important four-letter words to remember when you are angry are exit and wait. When we are so incensed that we’re about to lose control, exiting or calling time out can give us a breather so…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.