The Many Parenting Decisions We Face If you are like many parents, you are frequently asking yourself many of these questions: Should I listen to my child’s opinion or set a firm “No”? Should I be more flexible? What classes to take, what to wear, what friends to hang out with, etc? Should I let…
Did you take the quick Limit Setting Skill Level Quiz last week? If not, I encourage you to do it now. It will only take a few minutes yet it will be very helpful in understanding the exact words you are using that causes your kids not to cooperate. Last week I was talking about…
A very common fear is whether your kids will be able to take care of themselves when they leave home. Will they make good choices? Will they be able to manage their money? Will they choose good friends? Will they shop for healthy foods, cook, clean, and take care of themselves? There are so many…
The unhealthy or negative approach to the goal of Withdrawal is Undue Avoidance. The healthy or positive approach is Appropriate Avoidance. A key feeling you may have that alerts you to the unhealthy approach is a feeling of Helplessness. I’ve spoken with parents whose children have become so discouraged and their self-esteem so low that…
I feel compelled to tell you the story about my mother since we just had Mother’s Day. All my life I had a hard time finding a Mother’s Day card that represented my relationship with my mother. I didn’t want to lie and say that my mother was wonderful, that she was always there for…
I was coaching a client today with a 7-year-old who is having big challenges with his behavior at school. The parents wanted to know how to make the boy know how seriously wrong his behavior was. They wanted to know if I would recommend taking something away or grounding him. They were asking how to…
It’s challenging to respond to a teacher’s negative report about your child. Yikes! Your feelings of embarrassment, that you should be able to control your child, could make you want to punish your child in some way. You may think, how can I make him suffer so he knows that I don’t want him acting…
It’s confusing to know what to say when your child is expressing sadness, fear, anxiety, loneliness, or other emotion about a personal challenge they are facing. Most of us have not been trained on talking about our own emotions much less how to respond to our child’s emotions. It’s typical to respond in ways that…
Hi Cynthia; When kids are fighting, many parents immediately think as a judge. Who is the perpetrator and who is the victim? In other words, who is guilty and who is innocent. Many times the older child seems to be the instigator because the younger child is weaker and often complains more. And, you may…
Are you tired of being the judge in your home? Example: Child: “Mom, Beth hit me and I’m hurt. Go tell her to stop hitting me.” Parent: “Beth, why did you hit your sister?” And off you go down the path of prosecutor and judge. How did you get in this position, what do your…
Terms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.