I just met with a client who said his weekend didn’t go as well with his kids as it usually does. As he discussed what was going on in his life, it became apparent to both of us that he was under a lot of stress.
This stress made him more irritable and impatient. He couldn’t be as patient with his kids as he usually.is. This explains why he wasn’t as effective in connecting, setting limits and gaining cooperation.
The second part of the parent-child interaction equation is to ask, “What part did the kids play in not being as cooperative as they usually are? Why were they more hyper?” One part is that kids tend to pick up on the inner tension of the parents. This tension can stimulate an uneasiness inside of them. It’s like their anchor of a calm parent is gone. They are now on the waves of tension which brings out their own tension. Secondly, let’s not forget that kids have their own emotional ups and downs as well regardless of how the parents are feeling. Feelings are anything but static.
So, rather than thinking that the next time will be just as difficult; stop and tell yourself that it was temporary. If you’ve had good times before, you’ll have good times again. Then focus on ways to manage your inner strife so you can be more present and emotionally connected to the kids. One challenging weekend is only that; one weekend.
©2014 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with parents and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children of all ages. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parenting coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. She works with parents of 4 – 25 year-old children. Contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com, [email protected],com, or 650. 679.8138 to learn more about creating the relationship you want with your children.