I try to control my 14 year-old daughter so I can solve her problems and keep her safe. Isn’t that what a loving mom is supposed to do? That was how I was raised. I need to change and learn how to listen and support my daughter because she tells me so. “Mom, you don’t listen. You don’t understand. You’re not supportive.”
We get into arguments. Cynthia is privately coaching me on a bi-weekly basis to learn new skills. I am learning that when I give advice, command and interrogate my daughter, she gets upset because my hidden underlying message is that she is not capable of solving her own problems.
No wonder she gets mad and says, “You think I am stupid!” Instead, when she comes home upset about friends, I’ve been coached by Cynthia to realize that this is her problem to solve. What my daughter really needs from me is to listen, support and help her come up with her own decisions.
Since I’ve been coached by Cynthia, my relationship with my daughter has been much better. Cynthia has given me hope that I can become a better mother and listener.
Mom of 14 year-old daughter
