Listening to emotions is a fundamental step of problem solving. Problem solving is an essential skill to learn for a child’s self-esteem. They need to feel lovable and capable and this will develop as you problem solve together. Solving problems is not just logical. Solving problems is emotional as well. Trying to avoid your children’s emotions…
DetailsFrom the 6seconds website: Since the 1995 publication of Daniel Goleman’s international bestseller Emotional Intelligence, Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, a global movement has developed to bring “EQ” into practice in businesses, schools, and communities around the globe. How did it start, what does it mean – and where is it going? From…
DetailsFinding solutions can be challenging. Maybe you don’t know how to start the process, or your children won’t respond, or even if you do develop a plan, their enthusiasm wanes quickly, and you’re left feeling discouraged. You can successfully solve problems together when you pick a challenge or request that both of you have an…
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Be an Ally Rather than an Adversary when using the Powerful Director Parenting Role – After – then skit. When I work with parents, I present an approach I call being your children’s ally. You set limits and expectations in a manner that usually feels like you are on their side. They can still get…
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Most parents of strong-willed children find them very challenging. Parents have conflicting desires between wanting easy-going children, so they will do what they are told, and at the same time, strong-willed kids, so they will stand up for themselves and not be swayed by negative influences. Since this duo personality doesn’t exist, it’s best to…
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As a director, you set up structure to guide your children to fulfill their responsibilities when they don’t want to. Even after problem solving together, they may ignore you or resist your reminders. This is the time to use an effective director strategy. The after-then or work-before-play strategy is one of my favorites because it…
DetailsFor 1 ½ years, my husband and I have received parenting support from Cynthia with wonderful results. We attended a parenting seminar of Cynthia’s because we were suffering from four years of an intense relationship with our teenage son who was then 16. We were raised in China and we believed we should have control…
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We received coaching from Cynthia and as a result, we experienced greater harmony together. Since we have the same approach now, it feels like we are working as a team to face our child rearing challenges. Our relationship as a couple has improved. Here are our personal experiences about learning new and effective parenting skills…
DetailsA successful family is a family where growth has the highest value. Growth has more value than what is accomplished or the final “product.” This means that we encourage challenging our weaknesses without judgment. When we can’t change them, the other family members take up the slack and don’t continually ask, “Why did (or didn’t)…
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Dad Stays Quiet So Teen Daughter Talks More… Below is a message from one of my clients who (after starting the program mentioned below) saw a dramatic shift in the dynamic between parent and child… Cynthia, My wife and I started the month-long Accelerated Wisdom Program with Cynthia… We came primarily to open up communication…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.