Most parents of strong-willed children find them very challenging. Parents have conflicting desires between wanting easy-going children, so they will do what they are told, and at the same time, strong-willed kids, so they will stand up for themselves and not be swayed by negative influences. Since this duo personality doesn’t exist, it’s best to…
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As a director, you set up structure to guide your children to fulfill their responsibilities when they don’t want to. Even after problem solving together, they may ignore you or resist your reminders. This is the time to use an effective director strategy. The after-then or work-before-play strategy is one of my favorites because it…
DetailsFor 1 ½ years, my husband and I have received parenting support from Cynthia with wonderful results. We attended a parenting seminar of Cynthia’s because we were suffering from four years of an intense relationship with our teenage son who was then 16. We were raised in China and we believed we should have control…
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We received coaching from Cynthia and as a result, we experienced greater harmony together. Since we have the same approach now, it feels like we are working as a team to face our child rearing challenges. Our relationship as a couple has improved. Here are our personal experiences about learning new and effective parenting skills…
DetailsA successful family is a family where growth has the highest value. Growth has more value than what is accomplished or the final “product.” This means that we encourage challenging our weaknesses without judgment. When we can’t change them, the other family members take up the slack and don’t continually ask, “Why did (or didn’t)…
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Dad Stays Quiet So Teen Daughter Talks More… Below is a message from one of my clients who (after starting the program mentioned below) saw a dramatic shift in the dynamic between parent and child… Cynthia, My wife and I started the month-long Accelerated Wisdom Program with Cynthia… We came primarily to open up communication…
DetailsParents desire to have loving relationships with their children so they will be trusted and their children will seek them out for support and advice. While teaching my parenting classes, it becomes clear that well-meaning parents are resorting to ineffective punishment strategies, which hurt the relationship, because they just don’t know what else to do.…
DetailsDear Cynthia, You have made me aware of how to listen to my 12 year-old son carefully and not diminish his feelings. In some ways I feel like I am really listening to him for the first time. I regret all the time I spent not listening to him. There are years of miscommunication to…
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Here is a great post from Girls Leadership. It supports the listening and problem solving skills that I teach moms and dads. Pop Quiz: Who does a teen girl turn to first when she’s feeling low on courage? If you guessed friends, you’d be wrong. The answer was moms. Surprised? So were we. In Girls…
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Every fall, the organization Challenge Success located on the Stanford campus has an amazing event for parents I go every year and I encourage you to go as well. Register on their website. Friday, September 25th7:00 – 9:00 pm Memorial Auditorium | 551 Serra Mall, Stanford University Open to the Public | Adults: $10 Students:…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.