Summertime presents unique challenges with children. Many of you have figured out ways to manage your challenges. Some of you would still like some advice. This posting is primarily a place where my amazing newsletter readers can support each other. I’ll chime in with my idea on how to handle “I’m bored” and getting closer…
Details
When your child/teen has a problem they want to solve, embrace the supporter parenting role so you can help them develop their thinking in their prefrontal cortex. Here is an example of a parent following the first 3 steps of the 5 Step Problem Solving Process. Step 1: Stop blocking communication Step 2: Listen Openly…
Details
When kids don’t cooperate with you, it’s easy to take it personally as though they are against you. I call this response the “parent’s victim mentality.” When you see yourself as a victim, you think your kids are acting against you-that you are the target of their behavior. You may think, “They are being disrespectful…
Details
kidsdata advisory The Lucile Packard Foundation for Children’s Health | June 4, 2015 Survey: One in five 9th graders in CA considered suicide The percentage of students in California public schools who reported suicidal ideation within the past year is disturbing—nearly 1 in every 5 students in grades 9, 11, and non-traditional classes, according…
Details
Step 1: Figure out who should make the final decision on how to solve the problem; you, your child/teen, or both of you together. This determines your parenting role as a director, supporter, or collaborator. Problem ownership can change as your child matures. Be willing to set limits, find solutions together, or support your child/teen’s…
Details
Teens need to feel accepted and that you are listening with a respectful and curious mind for them to talk with you. A skill worth learning. At the end you’ll find a link to avoiding nasty communication blocks. “I’m guessing that you might feel …… if you did……..” “What are your thoughts on alcohol and…
Details
Last night I worked with 30 amazing parents at the Sunnyvale Public Library on how to build greater connection and influence with their adolescents so they would have a greater chance of discussing risky behavior. It’s easy for parents to say only a few words that can discourage dialogue. Last night, May 26, 2015, these parents became…
Details
You may be wondering whether parenting education can help you. You may be thinking, “I’m doing okay. Everyone has problems.” BUT, if you have had enough misery and are ready to make changes that will significantly make you and your family happier: Email or call me right now for a complementary 20 minute discovery session…
Details
Goals for parent Keep parent-child relationship intact Connection is vital Influence not control Working together with child Experience conflict as a growth opportunity Accompanying emotional and physical belief “I am available emotionally as often as possible for my family members.” Qualities adults strive to develop Unconditional love of child Open to growth and change Realistic expectations Firm when needed…
Details
Step 1: Describe the negative cycle in detail. What does your child/teen do repeatedly? How do you respond each time? How does your child/teen respond to your response? Step 2: Analyze what you are thinking and feeling about your child/teen during each step of the cycle. Are you labeling your child/teen, assuming they are doing…
Details