When kids don’t cooperate with you, it’s easy to take it personally as though they are against you. I call this response the “parent’s victim mentality.” When you see yourself as a victim, you think your kids are acting against you-that you are the target of their behavior. You may think, “They are being disrespectful…
Detailskidsdata advisory The Lucile Packard Foundation for Children’s Health | June 4, 2015 Survey: One in five 9th graders in CA considered suicide The percentage of students in California public schools who reported suicidal ideation within the past year is disturbing—nearly 1 in every 5 students in grades 9, 11, and non-traditional classes, according…
DetailsStep 1: Figure out who should make the final decision on how to solve the problem; you, your child/teen, or both of you together. This determines your parenting role as a director, supporter, or collaborator. Problem ownership can change as your child matures. Be willing to set limits, find solutions together, or support your child/teen’s…
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Teens need to feel accepted and that you are listening with a respectful and curious mind for them to talk with you. A skill worth learning. At the end you’ll find a link to avoiding nasty communication blocks. “I’m guessing that you might feel …… if you did……..” “What are your thoughts on alcohol and…
DetailsLast night I worked with 30 amazing parents at the Sunnyvale Public Library on how to build greater connection and influence with their adolescents so they would have a greater chance of discussing risky behavior. It’s easy for parents to say only a few words that can discourage dialogue. Last night, May 26, 2015, these parents became…
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You may be wondering whether parenting education can help you. You may be thinking, “I’m doing okay. Everyone has problems.” BUT, if you have had enough misery and are ready to make changes that will significantly make you and your family happier: Email or call me right now for a complementary 20 minute discovery session…
DetailsGoals for parent Keep parent-child relationship intact Connection is vital Influence not control Working together with child Experience conflict as a growth opportunity Accompanying emotional and physical belief “I am available emotionally as often as possible for my family members.” Qualities adults strive to develop Unconditional love of child Open to growth and change Realistic expectations Firm when needed…
DetailsStep 1: Describe the negative cycle in detail. What does your child/teen do repeatedly? How do you respond each time? How does your child/teen respond to your response? Step 2: Analyze what you are thinking and feeling about your child/teen during each step of the cycle. Are you labeling your child/teen, assuming they are doing…
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I’ve been receiving private parenting coaching from Cynthia and needed help with my 7 year-old’s son’s resistance to doing homework. Because I didn’t think my son was getting enough practice in school, I signed him up for additional tutoring. I had to constantly push him to do his school homework as well as the tutoring work. He’d…
DetailsOnly if children’s basic emotional needs are filled, can they learn to like and value themselves. For this reason, understanding our children’s needs is the first step in creating the proper climate for healthy growth and development. These needs can be grouped into four basic areas; belonging, uniqueness, power and freedom of expression. When children…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.