Reacting to parenting challenges in the moment without a long rang perspective is ineffective in making permanent changes. There is a good chance that the problem will resurface again and again. Reactive parenting often feels like punishment rather than truly being discipline. Discipline is the process of teaching children in a more positive manner rather…
DetailsListen with curiosity not judgment. Avoid communication blocks such as unwanted advice, commanding, placating,and interrogating. Respond to an upset child with empathetic tentative observations. Know your child and have realistic expectations. Emanate warmth and gratitude. Focus on the positive rather than areas that need improvement. Consciously choose beliefs that build connection so you gain greater…
DetailsIn order to solve a family conflict, you first have to determine who will be making the final decision on how to solve it. When children are little, parents are controlling and deciding for kids most of the time. You decide when they go to bed, the foods they can eat, how to solve problems…
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For over 20 years I’ve been listening to parents express their frustration, anger, hopelessness, and confusion about how to handle and change 10 major problems. As you read this list and nod your head in agreement, know that each person who came with a heavy heart, left armed with confidence, courage, and the necessary skills…
DetailsMy daughter struggles with school and taking initiative. She gets discouraged and recently she was complaining about a teacher. I’m working with Cynthia so I can be a better parent and so my kids will do things without being told or at least just being told once. I received a text from my 17 year…
DetailsMy good friend, Rosalinda Randall, is an etiquette expert. She recently conducted an informal survey asking pre-teens what they considered to be rude behavior, by adults. From my perspective, too often parents look down on children as not knowing and not wise. I find that children are very aware of what they like and don’t…
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Parents often join together, or get married, to raise a family. They have visions of feeling more fulfilled by having either one or more children. For some, the love they feel for each other is magnified in the love they feel for their children. But what happens to the bliss? For some, the conflicts between…
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by Madeline Levine, Ph.D. Remembering What Really Matters March 31, 2015 I was asked to write this blog on “grit.” A concept I mostly endorse and a word that simply annoys me. Of course hard work, persistence and diligence are good character traits. Although educator and author Alfie Kohn certainly has a point when he…
DetailsParents need to set rules and guidelines. Many kids resist feeling controlled and even if they want to help, they won’t maybe because they don’t like being told what to do or they are mad at you from a previous event. In the article, Boundaries and Rules or Limits are Different, I share how to state…
Details“I do so much for my children and they just don’t appreciate it. They only think about themselves. Sometimes I feel like I’m just here to give them what they want. Why don’t they think about me?” When you think this way, there is a good chance that you have not set clear personal boundaries.…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.