I have an 11 year-old son who struggles with school. We put him into a private school and he agreed to do the work. The homework is turning out to be very challenging. I have gotten mad at him many times when he lies about completing his work, because he wasn’t living up to his…
Details
Instructions: Look at the following skills. Check those that are important to you for your children to learn before they leave home. Keep these goals in mind as you use discipline to teach these important skills. This list is created by Elizabeth Crary in Pick up Your Socks, copyright 1990 Personal Care ___ Bathes ___ …
Details
Book excerpt from my upcoming book We all have visions of how we want to interact with our kids and how we want them to respond. No one wants to yell, threaten, shame or feel powerless, hurt, or give up. So why is it so difficult to follow our vision of who we want to…
Details
I was holiday shopping at 10:30 pm on Tuesday night and I saw several families with children ages 4 -7 at the store. This was not the first time I have seen children out way past their bedtime. I’m wondering how difficult it will be to get them to bed and what they will feel…
Details
I learned from Patty Wipfler, who created Hand in Hand Parenting the invaluable skill of having an adult listening partner. In order to be able to listen to our children, we need a way to release our own feelings that get in the way of being present and meeting our kids’ needs. She has developed…
Details
I have a 15 year-old daughter who gets mad at me when I try to help her. I discovered from working with Cynthia that my “help” wasn’t helpful. I picked her up from school one day and she was very upset because she was not able to finish her Chemistry homework despite the help of…
Details
“Why did you hit your brother?” “Well, Mom, I’m feeling jealous that you spend so much time with him since he was born. I feel neglected and I resent you so I take out my hurt feelings on him. I’d be happier if you didn’t have him. Aren’t I enough?” Have you ever received a…
Details
Let’s say you gave unwanted advice to your child about homework and your child responded with hurtful comments like “I hate you. Why are you so mean? Leave me alone. I didn’t ask for your help. You don’t understand. I hate my life.” You realize you did a communication block of unwanted advice and you want…
Details
The core of many family problems I hear about is the inability to listen openly to a suffering child without trying to eliminate their pain in some way. Instead of making a child feel better, your loving “help” can have the opposite effect. Your attempts at fixing can make them feel undervalued, unimportant, and unsupported;…
Details
Parents rarely try to shut down their kids. We want them to talk with us. Often, when our words and attitudes break down communication and everyone becomes upset, we are confused. What happened? Our words, without our awareness, suddenly felt hurtful to our kids, and they either got very angry with us or stopped talking.…
Details