Step 1: Describe the negative cycle in detail. What does your child/teen do repeatedly? How do you respond each time? How does your child/teen respond to your response? Step 2: Analyze what you are thinking and feeling about your child/teen during each step of the cycle. Are you labeling your child/teen, assuming they are doing…
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I’ve been receiving private parenting coaching from Cynthia and needed help with my 7 year-old’s son’s resistance to doing homework. Because I didn’t think my son was getting enough practice in school, I signed him up for additional tutoring. I had to constantly push him to do his school homework as well as the tutoring work. He’d…
DetailsOnly if children’s basic emotional needs are filled, can they learn to like and value themselves. For this reason, understanding our children’s needs is the first step in creating the proper climate for healthy growth and development. These needs can be grouped into four basic areas; belonging, uniqueness, power and freedom of expression. When children…
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I have a tendency to focus so much on work that I don’t spend time with my 16 year-old son. When I do, my relationship with my son improves. At the beginning of working with Cynthia 9 months ago, I was focusing on improving my communication and doing activities with my son. He was opening…
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“I do so much for my children, and they just don’t appreciate it. They only think about themselves. Sometimes I feel like I’m just here to give them what they want. Why don’t they think about me?” When you think this way, there is a good chance that you have not set clear personal boundaries.…
DetailsParents worry when they have a child who criticizes their siblings. It’s easy to judge and label the child as being self-centered, not caring, or just plain mean. As a result, when parents react with upset and anger to the criticism, they lose an opportunity to actually guide the child towards more compassion and empathy…
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Limit setting is one of the top challenges for parents. Often, parents obeyed as children more than their kids are obeying them now. This comparison to their childhood usually causes upset feelings and thoughts about their kids which leads to ineffective language and actions. This Limit Setting Skill Level Quiz consists of common thoughts, feelings,…
DetailsIt can be hard to stay respectful when you feel upset with your kids. I suggest you make a determination to yourself that , no matter what, I will stay respectful to my children. This means not yelling, shaming, accusing, or in any other way belittling my children. This is a tall order that I…
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Reacting to parenting challenges in the moment without a long rang perspective is ineffective in making permanent changes. There is a good chance that the problem will resurface again and again. Reactive parenting often feels like punishment rather than truly being discipline. Discipline is the process of teaching children in a more positive manner rather…
DetailsListen with curiosity not judgment. Avoid communication blocks such as unwanted advice, commanding, placating,and interrogating. Respond to an upset child with empathetic tentative observations. Know your child and have realistic expectations. Emanate warmth and gratitude. Focus on the positive rather than areas that need improvement. Consciously choose beliefs that build connection so you gain greater…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.