1. Make your primary connection with your partner, or a person of your own generation. Children are NOT the primary connection. Couples who focus on the children as their reason for being together, lose touch with each other and often the original reason you are together. Children grow up and leave the nest. If you…
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Each parent-child conflict gives us an opportunity to either teach our children, or to try to control our children. When we use discipline parenting strategies we are approaching the conflict as a teachable moment; an opportunity for our children to learn important life skills. When our children learn how to resolve conflicts, the joyful result…
DetailsThese Parenting Problems All Have Solutions Children are not listening and not following directions. You don’t know how to solve problems with your kids. Child gets upset easily from “minor” triggers and lashes out. Teenager won’t talk to you which scares you. Too much angry and disrespectful behavior by you and your children. You and…
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I didn’t realize how much personal growth I would have to go through in order to become a parent I was proud of… Like every other parent, I made (and make) mistakes. My pride comes from being a parent who continually self-reflects and tries to learn from my challenges with my daughter. Rearing children is…
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My daughter is now 26 yet I can still feel distress when I’m not able to reach her by phone. The parental mind seems to go instantly to fear that something has happened to our child. I laughed so hard when my daughter showed me this pie chart of what parents think when kids don’t answer their phones. We…
DetailsHi Cynthia, I attended your class last week on motivating kids without punishment or rewards. That night when I got home my son was still awake so I told him that we would get up 10 minutes earlier the next day and spend some time together doing whatever it was that he wanted. The next…
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I’m a mom of three children. My two teenage girls share a bathroom and I want them to be responsible for cleaning it. I was taking the hands off approach until it got so bad that I would loudly tell them that I couldn’t stand it anymore and they had to clean it. I knew…
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Making kids lives easier doesn’t teach them how to handle life challenges. Offering help occasionally to do something they know how to do is okay. Be careful to not get caught through their pleading to continue. Here are guidelines to check to see if you are strengthening or weakening your children. At the end is…
Detailstrying to get her to change. I had to change my thinking from “she’s the problem and I need to fix her” to “what can I do differently to get a more positive response from her?” I’m working on stating my expectation, then restating with even fewer words, if necessary, and not engaging. This works…
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When I learned about communication blocks as an Active Parenting Course instructor, my life changed. I realized that if I didn’t take some responsibility for my daughter’s, husband’s, or other people’s negative reactions to what I said that I wouldn’t be able to improve my relationships. The more I took responsibility for learning how to…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.