Click here for part 1. Part 2 3 Key Elements to Lead to Appropriate Negotiating 1. Ask yourself who has ownership of making the final decision. The solution can be decided by the adults, the children, or the parents and children together. Discussion and negotiation can occur when the child has full or partial ownership…
DetailsChildren’s Arguing is a Good Sign “Why do you have to argue about everything I ask you to do? Why can’t you just cooperate nicely for once? You make everything so difficult.” If your child has turned into a member of the debate team, then you are experiencing their prefrontal cortex, the logical brain, at…
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Have you ever thought about what type of “dance” you are doing with each of your children? Some parent-child interactions look like a beautiful waltz and some like a frantic jitterbug. The parent-teen dance can even turn into an adversarial passé double or perhaps no dance at all. I have always felt like I was…
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Winning Your Kids Over With Positive Discipline CONNECT with emotions as you correct with respectful limits. Listen to Emotions to Build Feelings of Trust and Cooperation When our children feel that we are listening to them with empathy, we build emotional connections and trust that creates cooperation. Focus on valuing and listening to their feelings…
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When helping teens with their problems, it is crucial to understand how much you should be involved in offering suggestions and making the final decision. If you cross over the line, your teen will get very upset. Here are levels of parental/teen responsibility and idea input starting with Level 1 which is total input and…
DetailsPosted: 04/23/2012 12:16 pm by Alfie Kohn If you decided to have a child, presumably it was because you wanted to be a parent and anticipated that the experience would be fulfilling. You did it for you. But the child’s arrival demands a radical shift: Now you must do things for him or her. Moreover,…
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YOUNG CHILDREN September 2001 Five Reasons to Stop Saying “Good Job!” By Alfie Kohn NOTE: An abridged version of this article was published in Parents magazine in May 2000 with the title “Hooked on Praise.” For a more detailed look at the issues discussed here — as well as a comprehensive list of citations to relevant research…
DetailsI attended a workshop on June 7, 2014, for teachers on SEL, Social, Emotional Learning. It was sponsored by SixSeconds. SixSeconds is an amazing organization with a mission of creating a world where Emotional Intelligence, EQ, is highly regarded and developed. One of the workshops I attended was on Building Growth Mindset Learners in Your…
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On Saturday, June 7, 2014, I attended a workshop on Social and Emotional Learning for Teachers. It was sponsored by 6 Seconds. The workshop on Growth Mindset discussed how more dendrites grow in the brain while learning. Here is additional information on how sleep contributes to increased learning as well. Date: June 5, 2014 Source: NYU…
DetailsI try to control my 14 year-old daughter so I can solve her problems and keep her safe. Isn’t that what a loving mom is supposed to do? That was how I was raised. I need to change and learn how to listen and support my daughter because she tells me so. “Mom, you don’t…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.