When helping teens with their problems, it is crucial to understand how much you should be involved in offering suggestions and making the final decision. If you cross over the line, your teen will get very upset. Here are levels of parental/teen responsibility and idea input starting with Level 1 which is total input and…
DetailsPosted: 04/23/2012 12:16 pm by Alfie Kohn If you decided to have a child, presumably it was because you wanted to be a parent and anticipated that the experience would be fulfilling. You did it for you. But the child’s arrival demands a radical shift: Now you must do things for him or her. Moreover,…
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YOUNG CHILDREN September 2001 Five Reasons to Stop Saying “Good Job!” By Alfie Kohn NOTE: An abridged version of this article was published in Parents magazine in May 2000 with the title “Hooked on Praise.” For a more detailed look at the issues discussed here — as well as a comprehensive list of citations to relevant research…
DetailsI attended a workshop on June 7, 2014, for teachers on SEL, Social, Emotional Learning. It was sponsored by SixSeconds. SixSeconds is an amazing organization with a mission of creating a world where Emotional Intelligence, EQ, is highly regarded and developed. One of the workshops I attended was on Building Growth Mindset Learners in Your…
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On Saturday, June 7, 2014, I attended a workshop on Social and Emotional Learning for Teachers. It was sponsored by 6 Seconds. The workshop on Growth Mindset discussed how more dendrites grow in the brain while learning. Here is additional information on how sleep contributes to increased learning as well. Date: June 5, 2014 Source: NYU…
DetailsI try to control my 14 year-old daughter so I can solve her problems and keep her safe. Isn’t that what a loving mom is supposed to do? That was how I was raised. I need to change and learn how to listen and support my daughter because she tells me so. “Mom, you don’t…
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See if this situation sounds familiar… An 8 year old son does sloppy work with homework. He rushed through it as quickly as possible so he could get done, then head outside to play. The mom (or father) then checks his work; seeing that it was rushed through, she then forces him to redo it.…
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Most parents have a difficult time hearing the “boredom complaint.” Parents think to themselves, “How could my kid be bored?” and off they go with numerous remarks that are not helpful and instead feel hurtful. This is a normal response, we always seek to solve problems, especially when it comes to our kids. “What do…
DetailsBelow is a framework by which you can begin your own assessment of the self-esteem within your family (and steps that can then be taken to reflect on/improve in areas that may have fallen behind). Only if children’s basic emotional needs are filled, can they learn to like and value themselves. For this reason, understanding…
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Often parents are so stressed by time and energy restraints that all they can think of is how to handle the challenge at that moment. The challenge can range from leaving the house on time, getting homework done, getting ready for bed up to not knowing where your teenager is and your teenager is not answering…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.