YOUNG CHILDREN September 2001 Five Reasons to Stop Saying “Good Job!” By Alfie Kohn NOTE: An abridged version of this article was published in Parents magazine in May 2000 with the title “Hooked on Praise.” For a more detailed look at the issues discussed here — as well as a comprehensive list of citations to relevant research…
DetailsI attended a workshop on June 7, 2014, for teachers on SEL, Social, Emotional Learning. It was sponsored by SixSeconds. SixSeconds is an amazing organization with a mission of creating a world where Emotional Intelligence, EQ, is highly regarded and developed. One of the workshops I attended was on Building Growth Mindset Learners in Your…
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On Saturday, June 7, 2014, I attended a workshop on Social and Emotional Learning for Teachers. It was sponsored by 6 Seconds. The workshop on Growth Mindset discussed how more dendrites grow in the brain while learning. Here is additional information on how sleep contributes to increased learning as well. Date: June 5, 2014 Source: NYU…
DetailsI try to control my 14 year-old daughter so I can solve her problems and keep her safe. Isn’t that what a loving mom is supposed to do? That was how I was raised. I need to change and learn how to listen and support my daughter because she tells me so. “Mom, you don’t…
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See if this situation sounds familiar… An 8 year old son does sloppy work with homework. He rushed through it as quickly as possible so he could get done, then head outside to play. The mom (or father) then checks his work; seeing that it was rushed through, she then forces him to redo it.…
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Most parents have a difficult time hearing the “boredom complaint.” Parents think to themselves, “How could my kid be bored?” and off they go with numerous remarks that are not helpful and instead feel hurtful. This is a normal response, we always seek to solve problems, especially when it comes to our kids. “What do…
DetailsBelow is a framework by which you can begin your own assessment of the self-esteem within your family (and steps that can then be taken to reflect on/improve in areas that may have fallen behind). Only if children’s basic emotional needs are filled, can they learn to like and value themselves. For this reason, understanding…
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Often parents are so stressed by time and energy restraints that all they can think of is how to handle the challenge at that moment. The challenge can range from leaving the house on time, getting homework done, getting ready for bed up to not knowing where your teenager is and your teenager is not answering…
DetailsSpecial Developmental Stages of Girls Ages 9 – 12 Forming an Identity as An Achiever Ages 13 – 16 Skill Building for Self-Esteem Reflection topic: Observe how your daughter is showing you through her actions and words that she is grappling with developing her own identity. Look beyond the tendency to be upset with your…
DetailsThe results were quicker homework time. A couple came in for private coaching. One of their struggles is that their 8 year old daughter takes forever to do homework. They wanted her to do it as soon as she got home. She kept not focusing and dawdling, taking much longer than necessary. The mom kept…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.