As parents realize that pressuring children to get all A’s is stressing them out too much, they have shifted to saying “Do your best” instead. I propose that “Do your best” can also cause kids to feel pressured to meet their parents’ high expectations. Here is why I say this. When parents tell me that…
DetailsTeenagers’ prefrontal cortex is in high developmental drive during the teen years. You can tell this because they can argue as if they were a lawyer. This means that their reasoning, logic, judgment, and planning skills are being developed and practiced. Teens can be so good at sounding logical, or blaming you for their misery,…
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Your DIrector parenting role is to teach your children to become responsible and capable by learning important life skills, such as cleaning up after themselves, using respectful language, getting along with others, etc. I encourage discussing these important values with your children often (while keeping in mind that they may not embrace your values right away).…
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Summer 2015 Parenting Classes Turning Craziness into Calmness: Avoiding Power Struggles (Ages 7 – 14) Discover how to reduce your intensity so you can turn a potentially crazy time into a calm one. Learn from brain research and about the keys and solutions to your emotional turmoil. Take control of yourself so you can create…
DetailsSummertime presents unique challenges with children. Many of you have figured out ways to manage your challenges. Some of you would still like some advice. This posting is primarily a place where my amazing newsletter readers can support each other. I’ll chime in with my idea on how to handle “I’m bored” and getting closer…
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When your child/teen has a problem they want to solve, embrace the supporter parenting role so you can help them develop their thinking in their prefrontal cortex. Here is an example of a parent following the first 3 steps of the 5 Step Problem Solving Process. Step 1: Stop blocking communication Step 2: Listen Openly…
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When kids don’t cooperate with you, it’s easy to take it personally as though they are against you. I call this response the “parent’s victim mentality.” When you see yourself as a victim, you think your kids are acting against you-that you are the target of their behavior. You may think, “They are being disrespectful…
Detailskidsdata advisory The Lucile Packard Foundation for Children’s Health | June 4, 2015 Survey: One in five 9th graders in CA considered suicide The percentage of students in California public schools who reported suicidal ideation within the past year is disturbing—nearly 1 in every 5 students in grades 9, 11, and non-traditional classes, according…
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Step 1: Figure out who should make the final decision on how to solve the problem; you, your child/teen, or both of you together. This determines your parenting role as a director, supporter, or collaborator. Problem ownership can change as your child matures. Be willing to set limits, find solutions together, or support your child/teen’s…
DetailsTeens need to feel accepted and that you are listening with a respectful and curious mind for them to talk with you. A skill worth learning. At the end you’ll find a link to avoiding nasty communication blocks. “I’m guessing that you might feel …… if you did……..” “What are your thoughts on alcohol and…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.