u Which is more important: expediency and looking good for the neighbors, or making sure children feel capable and competent? u When adults take the easy way out — going for short-range solutions, rather than long range teaching — they rob children of the opportunity to learn the skills that children so desperately need to…
DetailsJane Nelsen has been a main influence in my parenting approach. I highly recommend her books. Here is part 2 of her views on discipline. u All human beings (and children are human beings) have the right to be treated with dignity and respect, even when they need to experience the consequences of their choices.…
DetailsViews on Discipline Excerpts from Jane Nelsen’s book Positive Time-Out Part 1 u Discipline that teaches children helps them learn for the future. Punishment makes children pay for the past. u Tactics that humiliate and deprive a child of dignity and respect are means that do not justify the end. u Punitive time-out is based…
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Daniel Siegel, M.D. and Mary Hartzell, M. Ed, eloquently capture my own philosophy in Parenting From the Inside Out The focus on emotional connection first has enriched my life as a parent. My work as a parent educator is first based on improving family connections. Parents can accept their child’s invitation to slow down and…
DetailsFrom A Piece of Mirror and Other Essays by Daisaku Ikeda From the article Fatherhood pages 50 – 51 I heard a touching story about a schoolgirl who was ashamed that her father was a plasterer, while the fathers of her friends wore suits and ties to work. She told her mother how embarrasses she…
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This article was published in the December 2013 issue of Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. The online version is at www.ponthep.com. Studies have shown that people who feel appreciation have greater joy in their life. Imagine how happy your family will be when each member appreciates each other. Imagine less criticism and more connection, caring…
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So often parents read parenting books that have great ideas of how to act differently and solve parenting issues. One challenge though, is that in order to permanently change your actions, you need to change your thinking that triggers the undesirable actions. Parents often say, “I tried the new way and it doesn’t work.” Before…
DetailsDuring an outing, observation, detective and quick thinking skills are essential. Pay attention to your children’s cues that they are going “off-track”. They may become inflexible, irritable, combative or uncooperative. Rather than forcing compliance to “get with the program” you will be more effective and everyone happier if you take time to stop and reflect.…
DetailsMy article will appear in the December, 2013 issue of Parenting on the Peninsula magazine which is in print on the San Francisco peninsula and online at www.ponthep.com. Link to part 1 As in every garden, there are weeds to be pulled. While focusing on appreciating and affirming your kids, it is just as important…
DetailsMy article will appear in the December, 2013 issue of Parenting on the Peninsula magazine which is in print on the San Francisco peninsula and online at www.ponthep.com. Link to Part 1 When you appreciate, make sure you are not saying words to manipulate your child to do what you want. Let the appreciation stand…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.