Parents can have a hard time speaking with authority to their children without raising their voice or using threats. Actually, you lose the status of authority when you resort to these powerless tactics. When Jen was growing up, I had an unchanged policy that I would not buy popcorn or drinks at the movies. Nor…
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Children who are easily distracted, disorganized and have difficulty prioritizing can drive their parents crazy. Out of frustration, you may resort to judgmental statements that start with: “Why can’t you……?” “Don’t you care about……?” “If you’d only try harder you would…..” “When are you going to learn how to be more…….? “ “If you made…
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It takes courage to listen. It takes courage to become close to your children. We have to become vulnerable and feel our feelings. We also feel our children’s feelings. Most parents can’t listen to their children’s sufferings. It triggers their own deep suffering that has been lingering in their emotional limbic system for a long…
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1. Stop whatever you are about to say or do with anger. It will not be effective! 2. Take time to release your own limbic system in a safe way. a. Call a listening partner or a friend to just listen. b. Check in with yourself. What are you really feeling behind the anger? What…
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This list of what a teenager needs was written in 2004 by my then teen daughter. She was helping me develop a course for parents of teens I was presenting at a Buddhist conference/ Support. Anything from going to a soccer game, a dance recital or school event shows that you care about the teen.…
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I’ve always admired Alfie Kohn’ s willingness to question the status quo and find new answers. Here is a synopsis of what Working With Children means from his book Unconditional Parenting. Here is his home page https://www.alfiekohn.org/ The Discipline Model of Working With Children Rather than Doing To Children Source: Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn…
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Having a child or spouse that is easily distracted can bring out feelings of frustration, resentment and confusion that can end up being expressed with anger. The first step is to understand your emotional triggers and that your child or spouse has an overabundance of ideas that makes focus challenging. As you are working on…
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This is an excerpt from Daisaku Ikeda’s book A Piece of Mirror and Other Essays. The essay is titled Fatherhood. page 50 There are many ways to keep communication flowing, as the example of Indira Gandhi, and her father, Jawaharlal Nehru, India’s first prime minister, shows. He was jailed nine times during the Indian struggle…
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I’m a dad of an eight year old girl. Here is my story of how just one parenting class from Cynthia taught me how to gain greater cooperation from my daughter. I have struggled like many dads with getting my 8 year-old daughter up and to school on time. I took a parenting class with…
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Challenge Success Presents our 10th Fall Conference Keep it in Perspective Strategies for Raising Healthy & Motivated Kids Featuring Dan Pink, nationally acclaimed author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers Drive and To Sell is Human and Challenge Success Co-Founders Denise Pope, Ph.D., Stanford University Senior Lecturer, and author of Doing School, and…
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