Have you gotten yourself into a rut of doing most of the planning and preparing for the holidays? Perhaps you end up “asking” for help and you get resistance such as “Why do I have to? Can’t you do it? “I’m too busy.” “I don’t want to help.” In this scenario, you are acting…
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The holiday break is a great time to practice having collaborative discussions about how the family will spend the time as well as other fun topics. Most of the time parents want to talk about having kids do chores. While I’m all in for doing chores, try using the 5-Step-Problem Solving Process on things that…
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The Collaborator Parenting Role: Visiting Grandma versus the Movies Conflict Example Parents and children commonly experience conflicts on how to spend the weekends. As kids mature, they want more time with friends than with the family. When they are young, your parenting role is more often as a director where you decide what to do.…
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Raising kids is so challenging because we are emotional beings at our core. Our children’s words and actions can easily trigger our childhood memories so quickly that we react emotionally rather than logically. Our parent-child interactions may trigger feeling hurt, rejected, ignored, disrespected, etc. as a child, so we lash out as if we were…
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We are born with our emotional brain, the limbic system, already developed. This is quite amazing and tells us why we respond first emotionally to events that happen to us. Because our baby first responds to us from the limbic system, we naturally look into our baby’s eyes and wait for a response in return.…
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Have you noticed that sometimes you can have a hard time feeling grateful that you have children? I ran into a former client at the local symphony and I asked how his 3 children who were such a challenge are doing now. “The youngest one, who is now a junior in high school is doing…
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My husband and I are working with Cynthia and I learned that I was a part of my 10-year-old son’s outbursts. So, rather than trying to change him, which I would try doing through arguing and yelling which never worked, I’m working on changing myself instead. My son gets upset with projects at school, he’s…
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Does the following scenario sound familiar? It’s so painful when your kids/teens shut you out. You value the relationship and you want to feel close but you don’t know how. You try to be an empathetic listener, however, they still get annoyed with you and tell you to go away. If you feel this…
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Do you know anyone who says, “I like getting upset with my children”? What I hear instead are complaints that either their children are having upsetting outbursts and/or the parents are losing their cool and yelling which they regret immediately after. Parents may say that only when they get angry will their kids comply but…
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A successful family to me is one where all members feel respected and accepted. Cooperation is built because of emotional connection and a commitment to developing healthy relationships. As a result, family members can discuss concerns and solve problems together. When parents need to direct children towards more socially acceptable behavior, it is done with teaching…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.