The Value of Negotiable Rules and How to Negotiate From Jean Illsley Clarke’s book Growing Up, Again. Also read her book How Much Is Enough? Parents learn to be flexible and responsive to child’s developmental changes. Nonnegotiable rules become negotiable as child matures to adolescence. Child learns to think clearly and to develop responsibility. Child…
DetailsLast night in my Winning Kids Over Without Rewards of Punishments class, a dad shared his fear of showing his kids how he just learned that he needed to improve his communications with them . Another dad had also grown up to believe that sharing emotions and weaknesses would cause him to lose control over…
Details
If your child isn’t given ways to feel powerful and valuable to you, he may try to gain power and recognition in negative ways. Allow him to help you in ways you choose together (i.e. Grocery shopping, watering plants, writing checks, being in charge of family outings, washing dishes, washing clothes, making a meal for…
DetailsI believe the most important step for parents to take is to understand what they are saying that is shutting down their children from talking.The reason I say this is because understanding what not to say and then what to say instead, has made the biggest impact in my ability to create loving relationships in…
Details
Tonight I taught a class for mothers on how to keep the closeness with their 9 – 14 year-old girls. This was at the Parents Place which is part of the Jewish Family Services in San Mateo, CA. Here are some key points I covered. Cynthia Klein, Certified Parent Educator, bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com. Give our girls power…
Details
3 Approaches for Stating Expectations Clearly and Respectfully 1. “After (when) you do what I want you to do then you can do what you want to do.” This formula follows the “work before play” philosophy. Practice “After (when) you __________________________________ then you can ______________________________________ “After (when) you __________________________________ then you can ______________________________________…
DetailsBy Daisaku Ikeda Part 3 The rapid changes in society have left children exposed to intense forms of stress. The cold and unforgiving logic of the adult world is applied unmediated to the lives of children, who are subjected to excessive degrees of competition, selection, ranking and standardization. The dysfunction so evident in school bullying…
DetailsBY DAISAKU IKEDA How could anyone imagine there are people in the world who deserve to be bullied? Bullying is a base and vicious act that can never and must never be legitimated. People are not bullied because they are weak. Rather, bullying reflects the inner weakness of the perpetrators, their inability to resist their…
DetailsBy DAISAKU IKEDA Disturbing incidents of bullying continue to make the news. We hear daily of the tragedy of children who, unable to endure the harassment and violence inflicted on them by peers and classmates, are driven to suicide. It is heartbreaking to think of the pain and despair that would cause a child to…
DetailsThe Family is Our First School for Emotional Learning Excerpt from Daniel Goleman’s book titled Emotional Intelligence. Why it can matter more than IQ. “Family life is our first school for emotional learning. In this intimate cauldron we learn how to feel about ourselves and how others will react to our feelings; how to think…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.