The Family is Our First School for Emotional Learning Excerpt from Daniel Goleman’s book titled Emotional Intelligence. Why it can matter more than IQ. “Family life is our first school for emotional learning. In this intimate cauldron we learn how to feel about ourselves and how others will react to our feelings; how to think…
DetailsRecently, I was talking to a coaching client and we had a very thought provoking conversation about saying to kids, “All I expect is for you to do your best.” My defiant inner child responded by thinking, “What if I don’t want to do my best? Why do I always have to do my best?…
DetailsCreative Parenting Wins Cooperation Pt. 3 Most parents I coach have never learned that their own thoughts get in the way of solving problems with their kids. Here is how you can shift your thinking and teach kids how to think about and solve challenges. Remember that discipline means to teach. To problem solve and…
Details
Here is a story of a private parent coaching client of mine. Learning to Listen to Rather than Yell at My Teenage Daughter I am a dad of a 15 year-old daughter who is struggling in school and in following our rules. My wife and I contacted Cynthia to help with managing her behavior. We…
DetailsThe parent-child interaction is like an equation. In this equation, a= actions, t = thinking, p = parents, c = child. Therefore, the parent-child interaction equation is: (pt + pa) influences (ct + ca). You can only influence your child’s side of the equation by changing your side of the equation. Attempting direct control through…
Details
Many educators on LinkedIn have asked me about teaching social and emotional intelligence skills to teens. As more learning takes place in group and team settings, many teachers have observed that unless we help them tackle personal and social challenges, many will never fully engage and will not fulfill their potential. The good news is…
DetailsThis article is published in the April 2013 issue of Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. Part 1 of 3. How often have you said the same words to your daughter or son over and over with the same results? The results are that there is no desired change. Maybe your words had an impact when…
DetailsRecommended Book List for Understanding Early and Middle Adolescence Our Last Best Shot, Guiding Our Children Through Early Adolescence by Laura Session Stepp. 2001 This book is unique because the information is based on observations and interviews from children aged 10 – 15. It gives real life family stories and then highlights the positive…
Details
“How do I get my daughter / son to clean their room?” “How do I get my kids to stop fighting?” “How do I get my child to do their homework and stop chatting on the internet?” Do you notice a pattern from these common questions parents ask? It is “how do I control my…
Details
Determining Who Makes the Final Decision with Kids of All Ages Before engaging in solving a problem involving your teen, it is very important to first determine who will be making the final decision on what solution to choose. Will it be you, your teen or the both of you together? Whoever owns the problem;…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.