It takes courage to listen. It takes courage to become close to your children. We have to become vulnerable and feel our feelings. We also feel our children’s feelings. Most parents can’t listen to their children’s sufferings. It triggers their own deep suffering that has been lingering in their emotional limbic system for a long…
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1. Stop whatever you are about to say or do with anger. It will not be effective! 2. Take time to release your own limbic system in a safe way. a. Call a listening partner or a friend to just listen. b. Check in with yourself. What are you really feeling behind the anger? What…
DetailsThis list of what a teenager needs was written in 2004 by my then teen daughter. She was helping me develop a course for parents of teens I was presenting at a Buddhist conference/ Support. Anything from going to a soccer game, a dance recital or school event shows that you care about the teen.…
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I’ve always admired Alfie Kohn’ s willingness to question the status quo and find new answers. Here is a synopsis of what Working With Children means from his book Unconditional Parenting. Here is his home page https://www.alfiekohn.org/ The Discipline Model of Working With Children Rather than Doing To Children Source: Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn…
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Having a child (or spouse) that is easily distracted can bring out feelings of frustration, resentment and confusion that can end up being expressed with anger. The first step is to understand your own emotional triggers and the second is to realize that your child or spouse has an overabundance of ideas that makes focusing…
DetailsThis is an excerpt from Daisaku Ikeda’s book A Piece of Mirror and Other Essays. The essay is titled Fatherhood. page 50 There are many ways to keep communication flowing, as the example of Indira Gandhi, and her father, Jawaharlal Nehru, India’s first prime minister, shows. He was jailed nine times during the Indian struggle…
DetailsI’m a dad of an eight year old girl. Here is my story of how just one parenting class from Cynthia taught me how to gain greater cooperation from my daughter. I have struggled like many dads with getting my 8 year-old daughter up and to school on time. I took a parenting class with…
DetailsChallenge Success Presents our 10th Fall Conference Keep it in Perspective Strategies for Raising Healthy & Motivated Kids Featuring Dan Pink, nationally acclaimed author of the #1 New York Times bestsellers Drive and To Sell is Human and Challenge Success Co-Founders Denise Pope, Ph.D., Stanford University Senior Lecturer, and author of Doing School, and…
DetailsThe journey from childhood to adolescence is very challenging. Between the ages of 10 and 17 there are major changes in physical, cognitive, social, and moral development. The major task for adolescents is to establish their self-identity. By determining–as best they can–a sense of who they are, they attempt to find a group that reflects…
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Listening Builds Connection Mom Builds Bridges of Understanding With Her Teen Daughter Recently I started working privately with a mom who was struggling with getting into frequent arguments with her teenage daughter. The closeness they used to share was evaporating. She arrived to her second session very upset and feeling hopeless that the…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.