From Nancy Samalia, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma Here are the first 4 EXIT OR WAIT: The two most important four-letter words to remember when you are angry are exit and wait. When we are so incensed that we’re about to lose control, exiting or calling time out can give us a breather so…
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“At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled….we are thinking in a way that makes it unlikely to be met.” Marshall B. Rosenberg. Ph.D. In a previous post, Find Out What’s Triggering Your Parental Anger, I shared common parental thoughts that can lead to feelings of hurt and frustration…
DetailsI get very frustrated with my 10 year-old son. He is very smart, thinks about ideas and always wants answers to his questions. He also expresses his emotions often which are difficult to hear. Many times I am in a rush and I just don’t have time so I get angry with him. I think,…
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Use “Soft Power” for Life Time Connection Soft Power parenting strategies focus on building the parent-child relationship as the foundation. The child is viewed as a person with feelings and needs rather than an object for the parent to control and coerce with the focus on lifetime influence rather than immediate control. This process involves…
DetailsFamily Meetings Build Cooperation and Family Unity This family meeting format is from Active Parenting started by Michael Popkin, PhD. My husband, daughter, and I had family meetings for years with great results. We learned how to discuss issues and problem solve together. The bridges of communication stayed open because our daughter knew she would…
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I learned about Communication Blocks many years ago when I studied the parenting program Active Parenting by Michael Popkin. PhD. Every private coaching client I have worked with has realized that they consistently block their children’s expression of their emotions. After becoming aware of not blocking communication, the next step is to learn how to…
DetailsU.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office of Population Affairs (OPA) Maturation of the Prefrontal Cortex The prefrontal cortex, the part of the frontal lobes lying just behind the forehead, is often referred to as the “CEO of the brain.” This brain region is responsible for cognitive analysis and abstract thought, and the moderation…
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Do you ever say to your kids, “You make me so mad I could scream” ? You probably are just about to lose it, yet who “made” you mad? When we say this, we are actually giving power of our emotions over to our kids. In reality, what they are doing or saying is triggering…
DetailsWe know that we constantly read body language and tone of voice to interpret what others think and feel. Let’s not forget to think about the actual words we use as well. Discipline language is the language of learning, compassion, and cooperation. Boundary setting language is also discipline language. Now, punishment language has the intent…
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Too often parents focus on setting rules and limits on their children. Spending time to nurture the relationship seems to be secondary. Without the connection that comes from nurturing, children are less likely to care what their parents think or feel. As kids develop into teenagers, if there is not a foundation of nurture, teens…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.