My daughter is now 24. The only way I could survive the teenage years and have some happy moments is through approaching parenting as an opportunity for personal growth. I would learn how to change through the experience of having a teenage girl that was doing some risky behaviors. I worked at staying connected to…
Details
When parents use discipline strategies, they are focusing on a lifelong influential relationship with their children. When they use punishment, their focus is more on temporary control. Adults’ Goals and Attitudes When Using Discipline Discipline: To Create Cooperation with Children Through Leading and Influence. Embrace an ally perspective. See the situation as a “teachable” moment.…
DetailsDownload the checklist to see how much you are building connections in your family and how much you are breaking connections.
Once we have children our lives change. A couple that was happily married now usually have more conflict. How to raise the children is a point of contention. We may even wonder at times if we were wise to even have children. During times of doubt, I remember how much my daughter has given me…
Details
Raising Children From: A Piece of Mirror and Other Essays. by Daisaku Ikeda, President of the SGI World Wide Organization World Renowned Author and Poet Parts 1- 2 from Cynthia Klein’s March and April 2012 newsletters. “In order for a child to develop an independent self, it may be necessary at times to discipline…
Details
Everyone has a need or goal to feel powerful in their lives, even children. As parents we can show children how to gain the goal of power positively or negatively. The other four goals are contact/attention, protection, withdrawal, and also challenge for teenagers and older. Think of yourself as a detective to figure out what…
Details
We can’t always avoid or defuse power struggles. We are human beings that need to feel powerful. Some more than others. Here are some ideas for reducing the conflict and even learning how to work together for harmony. Look at your own need for power, dominance and control. Can you allow you child power? Work…
Details
Power struggles can be avoided by using the gentleness of the sun rather than the power of the wind. If your child feels that you are trying to control them; that you are not on their side, then the power struggle begins. Each person needs power. We can choose either a soft power approach or…
Details
Aesop’s Fable The North Wind and the Sun illustrates the different results when adults act like the wind versus the sun during a power struggle. Read my other post, Aesop’s Fable The North Wind and the Sun to get the complete story. Here are common power-struggle triggering thoughts along with replacement thoughts that will avoid…
Details
We can often think that feelings just arise from nowhere. When we look at the Think-Feel-Do cycle developed by Michael Popkin, PhD. we see a different perspective. How we think about an event causes our feelings about the event. Then, our thinking leads to our actions. Too often parents try to change a child by…
Details