This article is published in the April 2013 issue of Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. Part 1 of 3. How often have you said the same words to your daughter or son over and over with the same results? The results are that there is no desired change. Maybe your words had an impact when…
DetailsRecommended Book List for Understanding Early and Middle Adolescence Our Last Best Shot, Guiding Our Children Through Early Adolescence by Laura Session Stepp. 2001 This book is unique because the information is based on observations and interviews from children aged 10 – 15. It gives real life family stories and then highlights the positive…
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“How do I get my daughter / son to clean their room?” “How do I get my kids to stop fighting?” “How do I get my child to do their homework and stop chatting on the internet?” Do you notice a pattern from these common questions parents ask? It is “how do I control my…
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Determining Who Makes the Final Decision with Kids of All Ages Before engaging in solving a problem involving your teen, it is very important to first determine who will be making the final decision on what solution to choose. Will it be you, your teen or the both of you together? Whoever owns the problem;…
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These four weapons are from Nancy Samalia’s book, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma.Even though we may know these tips, it’s always great to be reminded. The other four are in a complementary blog https://bridges2understanding.com/eight-weapons-in-the-war-on-anger/ Which ones do you use? 5. STAY SHORT AND TO THE POINT – Be specific. It’s pointless to tell a…
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From Nancy Samalia, Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma Here are the first 4 EXIT OR WAIT: The two most important four-letter words to remember when you are angry are exit and wait. When we are so incensed that we’re about to lose control, exiting or calling time out can give us a breather so…
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“At the core of all anger is a need that is not being fulfilled….we are thinking in a way that makes it unlikely to be met.” Marshall B. Rosenberg. Ph.D. In a previous post, Find Out What’s Triggering Your Parental Anger, I shared common parental thoughts that can lead to feelings of hurt and frustration…
DetailsI get very frustrated with my 10 year-old son. He is very smart, thinks about ideas and always wants answers to his questions. He also expresses his emotions often which are difficult to hear. Many times I am in a rush and I just don’t have time so I get angry with him. I think,…
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Use “Soft Power” for Life Time Connection Soft Power parenting strategies focus on building the parent-child relationship as the foundation. The child is viewed as a person with feelings and needs rather than an object for the parent to control and coerce with the focus on lifetime influence rather than immediate control. This process involves…
DetailsFamily Meetings Build Cooperation and Family Unity This family meeting format is from Active Parenting started by Michael Popkin, PhD. My husband, daughter, and I had family meetings for years with great results. We learned how to discuss issues and problem solve together. The bridges of communication stayed open because our daughter knew she would…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.