Power struggles can be avoided by using the gentleness of the sun rather than the power of the wind. If your child feels that you are trying to control them; that you are not on their side, then the power struggle begins. Each person needs power. We can choose either a soft power approach or…
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Aesop’s Fable The North Wind and the Sun illustrates the different results when adults act like the wind versus the sun during a power struggle. Read my other post, Aesop’s Fable The North Wind and the Sun to get the complete story. Here are common power-struggle triggering thoughts along with replacement thoughts that will avoid…
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We can often think that feelings just arise from nowhere. When we look at the Think-Feel-Do cycle developed by Michael Popkin, PhD. we see a different perspective. How we think about an event causes our feelings about the event. Then, our thinking leads to our actions. Too often parents try to change a child by…
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The Kids Are Not Alright The Kids Are Not AlrightPosted: 05 Nov 2012 12:00 AM PST Generally, I believe worry is a waste of time and energy. For nearly 20 years I battled what was probably an anxiety disorder disguised as perfectionism, so I know what a happiness killer anxiety is. So I rarely write…
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This article is coming form my perspective as a private parenting coach to several dads. It does not relate to all dads. I want to honor the dads I see changing and share their stories. It all starts with a dad who wants better relationships at home. These dads are willing to ask, “What can…
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How often do you yell from the kitchen that it’s time to turn off the t.v. or come to dinner, or do their homework. It takes too much effort to actually walk into the room where our kids are and look them in the eye and get confirmation. No wonder we get frustrated when we…
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In my earlier article, I showed how often parents use communication blocks without even realizing it. A communication block is a remark or response to your kid’s statement that ends up feeling hurtful to them. Often our thoughts are just, I’m just trying to help, and instead our kids get mad at us. I suggest…
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At Mid-Peninsula High School, well meaning parents discovered that words they thought were helpful were actually blocking communication. Their words had underlying hurtful messages. Responding with truly empathetic comments when your teen is struggling is quite challenging. Here are some common ways parents respond to teenagers that actually shuts down communication. Learn why well meaning…
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Parents at Mid-Peninsula High School in Menlo Park, CA gathered tonight to learn how to communicate so teens will actually listen to them. As their speaker, i focused on my 3 Step Quick Coaching Process.: Step 1: Stop Blocking Communication Step 2: Listen Openly Step 3: Discuss Ideas The first key point from Step 1…
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Around 40 parents came tonight to the Redwood City, CA Boys and Girls club. This was amazing considering this is Giants country and this was game 1 against the Detroit Tigers. Our focus was on how to discipline rather than punish their children. Many were Spanish speakers and listened through headset translations.Whether English or Spanish…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.