My daughter is now 24. The only way I could survive the teenage years and have some happy moments is through approaching parenting as an opportunity for personal growth. I would learn how to change through the experience of having a teenage girl that was doing some risky behaviors. I worked at staying connected to…
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When parents use discipline strategies, they are focusing on a lifelong influential relationship with their children. When they use punishment, their focus is more on temporary control. Adults’ Goals and Attitudes When Using Discipline Discipline: To Create Cooperation with Children Through Leading and Influence. Embrace an ally perspective. See the situation as a “teachable” moment.…
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Once we have children our lives change. A couple that was happily married now usually have more conflict. How to raise the children is a point of contention. We may even wonder at times if we were wise to even have children. During times of doubt, I remember how much my daughter has given me…
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Raising Children From: A Piece of Mirror and Other Essays. by Daisaku Ikeda, President of the SGI World Wide Organization World Renowned Author and Poet Parts 1- 2 from Cynthia Klein’s March and April 2012 newsletters. “In order for a child to develop an independent self, it may be necessary at times to discipline…
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Everyone has a need or goal that helps them feel powerful in their lives, especially children. As parents, we have the opportunity and the responsibility to show children how to gain the goal of power positively or negatively. The other four primary goals are: Contact/Attention Protection Withdrawal And also Challenge (for teenagers and older) Being…
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We can’t always avoid or defuse power struggles. As human beings, it’s completely natural for us all to succumb to that need to feel powerful from time to time. Some deal with it better than others. It’s important when struggling with issues like this, to first look at your own need for power, dominance and…
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Power struggles can be avoided by using the gentleness of the sun rather than the power of the wind. If your child feels that you are trying to control them; that you are not on their side, then the power struggle begins. Each person needs power. We can choose either a soft power approach or…
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Aesop’s Fable The North Wind and the Sun illustrates the different results when adults act like the wind versus the sun during a power struggle. Read my other post, Aesop’s Fable The North Wind and the Sun to get the complete story. Here are common power-struggle triggering thoughts along with replacement thoughts that will avoid…
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We can often think that feelings just arise from nowhere. When we look at the Think-Feel-Do cycle developed by Michael Popkin, PhD. we see a different perspective. How we think about an event causes our feelings about the event. Then, our thinking leads to our actions. Too often parents try to change a child by…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.