My husband and I are working with Cynthia and I learned that I was a part of my 10-year-old son’s outbursts. So, rather than trying to change him, which I would try doing through arguing and yelling which never worked, I’m working on changing myself instead. My son gets upset with projects at school, he’s…
Details
Does the following scenario sound familiar? It’s so painful when your kids/teens shut you out. You value the relationship and you want to feel close but you don’t know how. You try to be an empathetic listener, however, they still get annoyed with you and tell you to go away. If you feel this…
Details
Do you know anyone who says, “I like getting upset with my children”? What I hear instead are complaints that either their children are having upsetting outbursts and/or the parents are losing their cool and yelling which they regret immediately after. Parents may say that only when they get angry will their kids comply but…
Details
A successful family to me is one where all members feel respected and accepted. Cooperation is built because of emotional connection and a commitment to developing healthy relationships. As a result, family members can discuss concerns and solve problems together. When parents need to direct children towards more socially acceptable behavior, it is done with teaching…
Details
When kids gain power by defying you, does your fuse get lit? Do you feel hurt, rejected, disrespected, or devalued and end up yelling? If you go to anger when your child says “No”, you are not alone. A current private coaching client of mine wrote on her intake form, “I just don’t want…
Details
I’ve been watching the Netflix series Never Have I Ever……about a California-born teen girl, Devi, whose father recently and suddenly dies. She is being raised by her East Indian-born mother with traditional Indian values. Frequent conflict arises! Not only does she feel deep suffering from losing her father whom she was very close…
Details
I always think of parenting as an opportunity for personal growth. We are confronted with big emotional triggers from our own childhood that can come up during conflicts with our kids. We have expectations about how we should be treated and that is often not the case. While we are grappling with our own…
Details
Feeling criticized and judged is often a big trigger that causes kids’ emotional outbursts. When talking with parents about their children’s outbursts, reluctance to cooperate, and outright negativity, I find that parents are unaware of how they have contributed to their child’s reactions. An important Independent Living Skill in the emotional maturity category is…
Details
Emotions are essential to understand because we are basically emotional beings. We enter the world with only our limbic system developed. This is the part of the brain where we have “gut” reactions, access safety, and emotions, pick up on non-verbal cues and store our long-term memory. It isn’t until around age 2 that we…
Details
The next Independent Living Skills category I’d like to discuss is Emotional Maturity. This is a vital yet difficult skill that is often worked on throughout life. (From personal experience.) So, rather than thinking about teaching a set skill, consider how you are working on emotional maturity in yourself and your children. The…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.