I’ve been watching the Netflix series Never Have I Ever……about a California-born teen girl, Devi, whose father recently and suddenly dies. She is being raised by her East Indian-born mother with traditional Indian values. Frequent conflict arises! Not only does she feel deep suffering from losing her father whom she was very close…
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I always think of parenting as an opportunity for personal growth. We are confronted with big emotional triggers from our own childhood that can come up during conflicts with our kids. We have expectations about how we should be treated and that is often not the case. While we are grappling with our own…
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Feeling criticized and judged is often a big trigger that causes kids’ emotional outbursts. When talking with parents about their children’s outbursts, reluctance to cooperate, and outright negativity, I find that parents are unaware of how they have contributed to their child’s reactions. An important Independent Living Skill in the emotional maturity category is…
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Emotions are essential to understand because we are basically emotional beings. We enter the world with only our limbic system developed. This is the part of the brain where we have “gut” reactions, access safety, and emotions, pick up on non-verbal cues and store our long-term memory. It isn’t until around age 2 that we…
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The next Independent Living Skills category I’d like to discuss is Emotional Maturity. This is a vital yet difficult skill that is often worked on throughout life. (From personal experience.) So, rather than thinking about teaching a set skill, consider how you are working on emotional maturity in yourself and your children. The…
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I’m listening to the new book published this year, Anything But My Phone, Mom by Dr. Roni Cohen-Sandler. I had read her previous book, I’m Not Mad, I Just Hate You! published in 2000. She focuses on sharing research and strategies to improve the mother-daughter teenage relationship. I highly recommend this book. Dr. Roni…
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Last week I talked about teaching your children social skills. Please keep in mind that it’s a process for them to learn these values and skills so don’t judge them because they haven’t acquired them yet. The actual test of whether they have learned these skills without your reminders will be when they are over…
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Many parents have given up on teaching social skills because there are so many examples of poor social skills everywhere. I encourage you to persevere in the mindset of teaching skills rather than getting annoyed if your children are not exhibiting them already. Also, think about what you are showing in your actions. I…
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Did you take the quick Limit Setting Skill Level Quiz last week? If not, I encourage you to do it now. It will only take a few minutes yet it will be very helpful in understanding the exact words you are using that causes your kids not to cooperate. Last week I was talking…
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A very common fear is whether your kids will be able to take care of themselves when they leave home. Will they make good choices? Will they be able to manage their money? Will they choose good friends? Will they shop for healthy foods, cook, clean, and take care of themselves? There are so…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.