The unhealthy or negative approach to the goal of Withdrawal is Undue Avoidance. The healthy or positive approach is Appropriate Avoidance. A key feeling you may have that alerts you to the unhealthy approach is a feeling of Helplessness. I’ve spoken with parents whose children have become so discouraged and their self-esteem so low…
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I feel compelled to tell you the story about my mother since we just had Mother’s Day. All my life I had a hard time finding a Mother’s Day card that represented my relationship with my mother. I didn’t want to lie and say that my mother was wonderful, that she was always there for…
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I was coaching a client today with a 7-year-old who is having big challenges with his behavior at school. The parents wanted to know how to make the boy know how seriously wrong his behavior was. They wanted to know if I would recommend taking something away or grounding him. They were asking how…
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It’s challenging to respond to a teacher’s negative report about your child. Yikes! Your feelings of embarrassment, that you should be able to control your child, could make you want to punish your child in some way. You may think, how can I make him suffer so he knows that I don’t want him acting…
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It’s confusing to know what to say when your child is expressing sadness, fear, anxiety, loneliness, or other emotion about a personal challenge they are facing. Most of us have not been trained on talking about our own emotions much less how to respond to our child’s emotions. It’s typical to respond in ways that…
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Hi Cynthia; When kids are fighting, many parents immediately think as a judge. Who is the perpetrator and who is the victim? In other words, who is guilty and who is innocent. Many times the older child seems to be the instigator because the younger child is weaker and often complains more. And, you may…
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A testimonial from Andrea and Chris who worked with Cynthia to improve their parenting effectiveness for 3 months. Hi Cynthia! I just wanted to thank you for helping Chris and I communicate better with our kids. Instead of nagging them over and over, we have found better ways to communicate more effectively to get cooperation. We…
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Are you tired of being the judge in your home? Example: Child: “Mom, Beth hit me and I’m hurt. Go tell her to stop hitting me.” Parent: “Beth, why did you hit your sister?” And off you go down the path of prosecutor and judge. How did you get in this position, what do…
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Parents love their children and want them to be happy, protected, and successful. Problems occur, though, when parents control their children too much instead of teaching them independent thinking skills that develop responsibility. Because of parents’ fear, they rush in to solve their children’s problems and take away their pain rather than watch them struggle.…
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When my husband and I started working with Cynthia, I was feeling frustrated, hopeless, out of control, and judged. I wanted to have more positive relationships with my children and spouse and for my son to be more responsible and handle his emotions in a more mature fashion. After working with Cynthia, I was able…
DetailsTerms of Use: The articles in my blog are a matter of my opinion and perspective, offered to help stimulate parents' thinking about their child raising and common concerns, conflicts, and changes that typically occur. They are meant to be educational only. Because they are general in nature, they should NOT be used as a substitute for getting qualified professional psychological, medical, or legal help should serious need arise. The resources I recommend are mostly consistent with my parenting approach. Use them at your own discretion as you would my articles. The parents’ success stories are particular to their family situation. This does not mean that you would get the same results. They are to be used for inspiration that by you changing first, you have the greatest chance of creating a positive change in your family.