We learn so much through hearing other parents’ stories of finding solutions to challenging situations by changing themselves first.
Here is a coaching client’s story about fixing his relationship with his teen son.
Sam Determines to Rebuild the Relationship with His Teen Son
“I have a tendency to focus so much on work that I don’t spend time with my 16 year-old son. When I do, my relationship with my son improves. At the beginning of working with Cynthia, she encouraged me to focus on improving my communication and doing activities with my son. When I did, he opened up to me more.
Then, I slipped back into my old habit of putting work first. As a result, we started arguing more. Because of backsliding and not putting my son as a priority, I haven’t been attending our weekly coaching calls with Cynthia. Just my wife has been. Again, putting work first.
I finally attended a call where Cynthia pointed out that my son will only be home 15 more months before he leaves for college. This is the last chance to build the connection that I truly want.
I’ve made a new determination to go out with my son once a month no matter what. I know my wife appreciates Cynthia getting through to me how important my son is to me. Sometimes it is easier to listen to an “expert” than to my wife.” A loving dad of a teenage boy.
Understanding why the son was arguing more as the dad pulled away.
There are 5 different goals of behavior and they can be achieved through either negative or positive actions. The first goal is to achieve a sense of belonging in the family. When the dad spent time with his son, this goal was fulfilled in a positive way.
When Sam didn’t spend time with him, the son couldn’t get this goal met in a positive way. So, the son unconsciously resorted to the negative approach to belonging through arguing. He still got connection yet it didn’t feel good to either of them.
Next time your child is arguing too much, ask yourself, “Am I giving my child a positive way to connect?” If not, figure out how to spend positive time together.
From this story, you can see that arguing can result from you not giving positive attention or it can be by not setting rules effectively. If you believe you are giving positive attention, then check out my bonus workshop on how to give effective rules that eliminate the needless arguing. Info below.
Happy parenting!
Cynthia
Cynthia is available for private coaching sessions, so you can quickly get the answers you need and make those much-needed changes right away. Click HERE for a complimentary 45-minute Fast-Track Clarity Session to learn what you can do now to create more harmony in your home.
Learn about how you can solve your parenting challenges at your own pace with the Win, Win, Win Parenting Program.
Copyright © 2026, Cynthia Klein, All rights reserved. Please contact Cynthia to use any of her blog post.
About Cynthia Klein
Cynthia Klein’s mission is to contribute to World Peace and building healthy family relationships is the place to begin. As a parenting expert for over 30 years, parents have learned from Cynthia how to communicate more effectively as an ally rather than an adversary. Her unique Family Harmony Formula teaches parents of 5 and older how to have open dialogue, solve problems together, support one another, and build mutual respect. Cynthia is the author of Ally Parenting and the video-based self-paced program Win, Win, Win, Parenting. She has presented over 700 talks and coached hundreds of parents privately towards greater family connection and harmony. To learn more about her services of coaching and speaking, contact Cynthia Klein at , visit her website at bridges2understanding.com.
