The Step-by-Step Solutions Guide – An Overview
By Cynthia Klein
This action process is a step-by-step guide about how to think about your current challenges, evaluate them accurately, and then find an effective solution to try using my book, Ally Parenting: A Non-Adversarial Approach to Transform Conflict Into Cooperation. The questions below reflect the process I use when I’m evaluating a parent’s situation and giving advice. Complete the seven steps to reveal your contributions to the problem so you can make specific changes that will transform your conflicts into cooperation.
The Step-by-Step Solutions Guide in the book directs you with additional answers to choose from under each question below. For self-directed parents, Ally Parenting is an amazing addition to your parenting books collection. If you prefer individual support, then we’ll use this process as we work together. Either way, know that positive change can happen in your family when you know the best way to change.
The Step-by-Step Solutions Guide Overview
Write down the #1/top priority challenge you want to solve. Be as specific as possible, such as, “My child dawdles in the morning, so we leave late.”
- Determine what parenting role or roles you will use to solve this problem. Refer to the chapter, Choose Your Parental Role: Director, Collaborator, or Supporter.
- Determine what goal(s) your child is trying to achieve through a negative approach. Refer to the chapter, Why Children Do What They Do – It’s Not About You
- Determine your current beliefs and thoughts that are keeping you from acting effectively. Refer to the chapters in Section 1, Are You an Ally or an Adversary? and Self-Knowledge is the First Step Toward Change. Then read Problem Solving Together Requires Flexible Thinking in Section 3.
- What new flexible thoughts could you practice having during the challenge that would enable you to take responsibility to improve the situation? Refer to the suggestions in the Step-by-Step Guide.
- Determine which communication blocks you’re using during this challenge. Refer to the Section 2 chapters, Awareness of Communication Blocks is the First Step and Why Kids Reject Our Help.
- Determine which empathetic statements you could use to connect with your child during this challenge. You will still set the expectation if you are in the Director Role. Do not add “but” after your empathy statement. Refer to the Section 2 chapters, The Emotional Support Process Connects You to Your Child, The Art of Listening Openly, Empathetic Responses Improve Connection and Communication, and Parent Success Stories Using Empathetic Responses.
- Put it all together. Now, review your answers by placing them below and you’ll discover the best solution to try first.
Congratulations on your journey to a happier family!
Ally Parenting is available in soft cover and eBook at many on-line sources.
If you live in the San Francisco Bay Area and you would like to purchase from a local store, may I recommend Kepler’s in Menlo Park. Otherwise, simply put Ally Parenting and Cynthia Klein in your search bar and you will find me. This book is the culmination of 23 years as a parenting educator working with families who have too much conflict and they want a happier and more cooperative family.
Copyright © 2017 Cynthia Klein · Bridges 2 Understanding · bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com
More helpful articles from Cynthia:
The Director Parenting Role – The After-Then Strategy
Mom Learns How to Encourage Her Son
©2017 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Family Success Coach since 1994. She works with parents and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parenting coaching sessions. She works with parents of 5 – 25 year-old children.
To learn how Cynthia can help you solve your specific challenges, contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com, , or 650. 679.8138 to have a complementary 45-minute discovery session. Why keep suffering? It’s time to change!