How to Get Your Kid to Talk about What Happened at School
Our kids’ lives are not our lives. Once you recognize that fact, saysChristine Carter, you can start the conversation.
As the first day of school quickly approaches, parents are asking me how to get their kids to talk to them more about school. We parents want information! We feel that in exchange for our nurturance and worry and everything we did to get them ready for school, we should at least get to know what’s happening there!
So how can you get more than a “fine” out of your kids when you ask them “How was school?” Drawing on techniques from some of the most brilliant people I know—parenting expert Amy McCready, child and adolescent psychologist Shefali Tsabary, and Harvard-trained life coach Martha Beck—I’ve pieced together the following plan.
Set aside 10 minutes a day for “special time.”
What (or whether) kids choose to share with us has a lot to do with their personality, of course. But a factor that is more within our control is our connection with them—specifically, how much they trust us with their innermost thoughts and feelings.
We can lay a foundation of trust and connection using what my kids call “special time.” Every day for at least 10 minutes, I try to do something with each of my kids that they choose: We play a game, read together on the couch, walk the dog.
(My thoughts on special time.Patty Wipfler created this concept.I encourage you to go to her website to learn more and purchase her Special Time booklet. Go to www.handinhandparenting.org.
To continue reading Christine’s comments about:
1. Be honest about why you want to hear about school.
2. Ask them about the worst part of the day.
In conclusion, Christine Carter says:
So why, in the end, do ask them how their day was?
Because we want to be an unconditionally loving place in our kids’ lives, where they will always be able to touch their own significance and feel their own belonging. We want to be the place where they can unburden themselves from life’s difficulties—so that, ultimately, they are able to receive life’s beauty, in all its magnificence.
I suggest that you read my article on how to keep lines of communication open with?
©2015 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Family Success Coach since 1994. She works with parents and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parenting coaching sessions. She writes the Middle School Mom column for the Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. She works with parents of 4 – 25 year-old children. Contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com or 650. 679.8138 to have a complementary discovery session about finding solutions to your challenges. http://wp.me/p2TgAe-No