Today I started my 7 week webinar series. Is My Teen Crazy or Am I? Be the Anchor in Their Storm.
Everyone is going to make amazing changes. Continual growth happens when you learn new skills and you practice so you can replace old and ineffective habits.
Our theme is Embrace Your Teen. One topic was on the difference between an Ally parenting approach and an Adversarial parenting approach.
Part 1: The Ally and Adversary Parenting Approaches
An ally is like the sun and the adversary is like the north wind in the Aesop fable The North Wind and the Sun. I shared this fable in a previous blog.
I encouraged the parents to learn how to be the anchor of support and security for their teen during these stormy years. As well as continuing to develop compassion, flexibility, and unconditional love.
Adversarial Parenting Beliefs:
- A disagreement ends with a winner and a loser. The parent wins and the child loses.
- The quality of the relationship is not important. Therefore, feelings and thoughts of the other person are not important.
Ally Parenting Beliefs:
- The parent strives to find a win/win solution to the problem.
- The relationship is valued so everyone’s emotional well-being is important. The parent thinks before acting, “Will what I am about to say or do build or break the relationship? It is my choice.”
Moving Forward Activity: How were you raised? How did you feel about the adults in your life? In what ways did they act like an ally or an adversary?
©2013 Cynthia Klein has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with dads, moms and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children of all ages. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking, webinars, and private parent coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the magazine Parenting on the Peninsula. Contact Cynthia at bridges 2 understanding, bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com or call 650. 341.0779.
