Jane Nelsen has been a main influence in my parenting approach. I highly recommend her books. Here is part 2 of her views on discipline.
u All human beings (and children are human beings) have the right to be treated with dignity and respect, even when they need to experience the consequences of their choices.
u Deciding what you will do is an excellent way for you to take some positive time out instead of reacting and engaging in a power struggle.
u Even when children have made agreements in advance, and even when they have helped create routine charts, kind and firm follow-through is the best way for parents to invite cooperation.
u Children learn what they live (what is modeled for them). Loving action is the best model you can give your children, sometimes with your mouth shut.
u If we expect children to behave rationally, wouldn’t it be nice (and effective) if we learned to do it first?
u Most parents find it difficult to think clearly and calmly when they or their children are on a rampage.
u Let children know what helps you calm down and feel better so you can deal with a situation rationally.
u Sometimes we have to be perceptive enough to dig beneath the words to understand a child’s world.
u Children can feel the energy of your attitude. If you are respectful, they are more likely to respond in kind.
u We say our children are what we value most, yet we spend our time and energy pursuing other goals, leaving our children feeling neglected and misunderstood.
u One of the biggest mistakes made by parents and teachers is not recognizing the need of children to have power and autonomy in their lives.
u You may have noticed that a key ingredient for most positive-discipline methods is getting children involved.
Criteria for Positive-Discipline Tools
u They are based on kindness, firmness, dignity and respect.
u They all consider the long-range results.
u They all teach children important life skills for success.
u We must learn to control our behavior before we can expect children to control their own behavior. Sometime adults need to take some positive time out until they can adopt encouraging attitudes.
©2014 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with parents and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children of all ages. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parenting coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. She works with parents of 4 – 25 year-old children. Contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com, cynthia@bridges2understanding,com, or 650. 679.8138 to learn more about creating the relationship you want with your children.
