u Which is more important: expediency and looking good for the neighbors, or making sure children feel capable and competent?
u When adults take the easy way out — going for short-range solutions, rather than long range teaching — they rob children of the opportunity to learn the skills that children so desperately need to survive and prosper in life.
u One-on-one sharing in a friendly manner can be very encouraging and empowering to a child.
u We need to remember that perfectionism is extremely discouraging. Adults often seem to expect more from children than adults can accomplish themselves.
u Taking time just to listen with undivided attention, to get down on a child’s level and make eye contact when we speak, to use friendly touches and hugs, as well as words to communicate love and affection, are all very powerful tools.
FOURTEEN ATTITUDE TOOLS
1. Misbehaving children are discouraged children.
- Children do better when they feel better.
- Mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn.
- Work for improvement, not perfection.
- Use kindness and firmness at the same time.
- Focus on winning children over instead of winning over children.
- Focus on long-range results
- Look for solutions, not blame
- Understand the meaning of discipline.
10. Treat children with dignity and respect.
11. Children listen to you after they feel listened to
12. Look for the hidden message behind misbehavior.
13. Give children the benefit of the doubt.
14. Lighten up — breathe.
Which ones of these attitudes connect to you? Which ones inspire you to think and act differently?
2014 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with parents and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children of all ages. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parenting coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. She works with parents of 4 – 25 year-old children. Contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com, cynthia@bridges2understanding,com, or 650. 679.8138 to learn more about creating the relationship you want with your children.