We are born with our emotional brain, the limbic system, already developed. This is quite amazing and tells us why we respond first emotionally to events that happen to us. Because our baby first responds to us from the limbic system, we naturally look into our baby’s eyes and wait for a response in return. We coo, make faces, and talk in a “baby” voice in hopes of getting a response from them. When we do get some sort of response, then we in turn feel connected and happy.
Some children have developmental delays in their emotional responses which is challenging because we crave emotional connection. Parents quickly know when children are not responding as expected. Their child may be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder when they show impaired communication or reciprocal social interaction.
Here are the main brain functions located in the limbic system:
Connection Comes First (Limbic System)
- “Gut” responses
- Assess safety
- Long-term memory
Isn’t it lovely when you and your child talk with each other, hug each other and have fun? This emotional connection feeds your soul and creates a deep sense of happiness. This goes back to our basic need from birth to feel connected.
Experts have talked about the big problem of isolation that happened during the Covid 19 Pandemic. You may have also experienced the feeling of disconnection and sadness from a lack of emotional and physical connection, too.
We don’t need a pandemic for your kids to feel more isolated from you which can contribute to sadness. Many parents tell me, “I used to feel close to my child when they were younger, and now that they are in middle school, or older, they don’t share as much with me. I feel hurt and I miss that closeness. What should I do?”
Some of this lack of connection is the developmental stage of individualization. That can’t be changed nor should you try. The other part that can contribute to this disconnection is how you react to your kids/teens behavior during their separation process.
Many parents increase the control tactics at this time which creates a bigger wall of isolation for you and your teens in particular. They still want to stay connected because this is their deep need, but they don’t know how to separate and stay connected at the same time.
This is a crucial time to learn what’s going on and the new parenting skills that your preteens and teens desperately want you to know. They will let you know when you are doing something wrong and they might even tell you what they want you to do instead. However, parents are often deaf and blind to the signals kids give them.
Don’t miss out on this fantastic opportunity to download “The 7 Most Common Phrases Parents Say That Stop Kids From Listening”! You’ll also receive my weekly emails where you will learn how to transform annoying conflict into loving cooperation in your home.
Cynthia is available for private coaching sessions so you can quickly get the answers you need and make those much need changes right away. Click HERE for a complimentary 45-minute Fast-Track Clarity Session to learn what you can do now to create more harmony in your home.
Copyright 2022 Cynthia Klein.