I didn’t realize how much personal growth I would have to go through in order to become a parent I was proud of…
Like every other parent, I made (and make) mistakes.
My pride comes from being a parent who continually self-reflects and tries to learn from my challenges with my daughter.
Rearing children is an opportunity to stretch your potential and to reflect upon your current beliefs about the parent-child relationship.
Discard beliefs, thoughts and values that cause separation and suffering for you and those around you.
Invite in those thoughts and feelings that create a family of mutual support and growth.
Here are some self-reflective questions to help you uncover problem areas:
- Am I taking time to sit and listen to my child without interrupting and giving advice?
- Why do I hang on to the belief in punishment?
- Am I trying to control my child by making him “suffer” in order to change the behavior?
- Why do I keep the negative cycle going? What do I get out of it?
- Am I afraid of losing my “sense of power”?
- What feelings are getting triggered from my own childhood?
- Am I trying to figure out how my child can get their needs met in a positive way? And not taking their behavior as a personal affront?
- Do I look at my child’s growth as a process that takes time?
- Am I forgiving myself when I make a poor decision and try again?
To me, a successful parent is one who continually strives to improve themselves and the relationships in their family. I feel no judgment towards parents because of their children’s behavior.
My daughter liked to be in “risky” situations as a teen. She didn’t think they were risky, yet I did…
If I judged my parenting by how much my daughter followed my rules when she was a teenager, I would probably get a C-.
Yet we remained close and loving through the teen years and into young adulthood. Our struggles together actually deepened our trust and love for each other.
So, I encourage you to embrace being a parent as an opportunity for personal growth and value your tears and talks.
Have you noticed that going through struggles together has strengthened your bond? Is this a skill you would like to learn how to do?
Check out my :
Limit Setting Skill Level Quiz for Parents
Read about how to Parent as an Ally for Success
Copyright © 2026, Cynthia Klein, All rights reserved. Please contact Cynthia to use any of her blog post.
About Cynthia Klein
Cynthia Klein’s mission is to contribute to World Peace and building healthy family relationships is the place to begin. As a parenting expert for over 30 years, parents have learned from Cynthia how to communicate more effectively as an ally rather than an adversary. Her unique Family Harmony System teaches parents of 5 and older how to have open dialogue, solve problems together, support one another, and build mutual respect. Cynthia is the author of Ally Parenting and the video-based self-paced program Win, Win, Win, Parenting. She has presented over 700 talks and coached hundreds of parents privately towards greater family connection and harmony. To learn more about her services of coaching and speaking, contact Cynthia Klein at , visit her website at bridges2understanding.com.
