I didn’t realize how much personal growth I would have to go through in order to become a parent I was proud of…
Like every other parent, I made (and make) mistakes.
My pride comes from being a parent who continually self-reflects and tries to learn from my challenges with my daughter.
Rearing children is an opportunity to stretch your potential and to reflect upon your current beliefs about the parent-child relationship.
Discard beliefs, thoughts and values that cause separation and suffering for you and those around you.
Invite in those thoughts and feelings that create a family of mutual support and growth.
Here are some self-reflective questions to help you uncover problem areas:
- Am I taking time to sit and listen to my child without interrupting and giving advice?
- Why do I hang on to the belief in punishment?
- Am I trying to control my child by making him “suffer” in order to change the behavior?
- Why do I keep the negative cycle going? What do I get out of it?
- Am I afraid of losing my “sense of power”?
- What feelings are getting triggered from my own childhood?
- Am I trying to figure out how my child can get their needs met in a positive way? And not taking their behavior as a personal affront?
- Do I look at my child’s growth as a process that takes time?
- Am I forgiving myself when I make a poor decision and try again?
To me, a successful parent is one who continually strives to improve themselves and the relationships in their family. I feel no judgment towards parents because of their children’s behavior.
My daughter liked to be in “risky” situations as a teen. She didn’t think they were risky, yet I did…
If I judged my parenting by how much my daughter followed my rules when she was a teenager, I would probably get a C-.
Yet we remained close and loving through the teen years and into young adulthood. Our struggles together actually deepened our trust and love for each other.
So, I encourage you to embrace being a parent as an opportunity for personal growth and value your tears and talks.
Have you noticed that going through struggles together has strengthened your bond? Is this a skill you would like to learn how to do?
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