Jane Nelsen, PhD. has written numerous parenting books that are based on positive discipline. She says that for discipline to be effective; it needs to contain these four qualities. .
- Maintains a sense of connection
- Is effective long term
- Respectful
- Teaches social and life skills which develop good character.
Here are examples of parenting strategies that focus particularly on maintaining a sense of connection. A truly effective strategy needs to contain all four qualities.
Michael Popkin, PhD. has also been a major influence in my development as a parent educator so I would like to credit him as well for these ideas. (www.activeparenting.com) The language is focused on teens yet relates to all ages.
Maintain Sense Of Connection
Listen with curiosity not judgment
Avoid communication blocks
Reflective or active listening
Know teen, realistic expectations
Emanate warmth and gratitude
Choose beliefs that build connection to influence, not try to control
Ask yourself, “Is what I am about to say or do going to build or break my relationship?” Work on building
Empathize with teen’s struggles
The other three qualities are in separate posts.
How are you doing in creating connection with your children?
Cynthia Klein has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with dads, moms and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children of all ages. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking, webinars, and private parent coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the magazine Parenting on the Peninsula. Contact Cynthia at bridges 2 understanding, bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com or call 650. 341.0779.
