The results were quicker homework time.
A couple came in for private coaching. One of their struggles is that their 8 year old daughter takes forever to do homework. They wanted her to do it as soon as she got home. She kept not focusing and dawdling, taking much longer than necessary. The mom kept telling her to do her homework. (Nagging?)
I suggested that she may need some play time first since she was having a hard time focusing. They then allowed her downtime when she got home. She watched TV. (This was hard for the parents who really wanted her to go play, but they let her watch.) She then did her homework much more promptly.
What surprised them even more is that the other day; she just did her homework quickly without playing first. She likes to have control. I suggested that by not telling her to do her homework first, she had the power to make her own decision and so she chose to do it first. Letting go can be scary for parents. When kids know homework needs to be done and are given some power as to when it is done, they can often surprise us and do what we originally wanted.
With some kids this strategy works very well. If you have homework completion struggles; have you tried this approach? Let me know the results.
©2014 Cynthia Klein, Bridges 2 Understanding, has been a Certified Parent Educator since 1994. She works with parents and organizations who want more cooperation, mutual respect and understanding between adults and children of all ages. Cynthia presents her expertise through speaking and private parenting coaching sessions. She is a member of the National Speakers Association and writes the Middle School Mom column for the Parenting on the Peninsula magazine. She works with parents of 4 – 25 year-old children. Contact Cynthia at bridges2understa.wpstagecoach.com, cynthia@bridges2understanding,com, or 650. 679.8138 to learn more about creating the relationship you want with your children.
