My teenager will not: smoke, do drugs, drink alcohol, be sexually active or rude. School, grades and college will be important.
What a great fantasy this is! No problems, no hassles and no fear! Instead, what about expecting that your teenager will do drugs, smoke, have sex, be rude to you and drop out of high school? Then, when they are only rude and drink, you’ll really be relieved!
Seriously, the point I’m hoping to make is this: We will be happiest when we learn alongside our children who they really are. You can feel excitement and joy when your children’s brain is maturing and they let you in on the journey. Too often kids feel that they are a constant disappointment to their parents. What they often hear is the underlying, hidden message “You aren’t good enough. You could be better; you could do better. I’m disappointed in you.”
Work on letting go of the fear of the unknown of who your children will turn out to be. You may try to control their behaviors, yet it seems the more you hold on, the more kids shut down and don’t share who they are. Instead, learn to listen, accept and support. Don’t worry, you can still set limits. Acceptance does not mean that chaos will follow. Rather than put your children in a cage like a bird, feed them in the nest and help them gain strength so they can fly away. With your unconditional love, they will always fly back.
Copyright © 2026, Cynthia Klein, All rights reserved. Please contact Cynthia to use any of her blog post.
About Cynthia Klein
Cynthia Klein’s mission is to contribute to World Peace and building healthy family relationships is the place to begin. As a parenting expert for over 30 years, parents have learned from Cynthia how to communicate more effectively as an ally rather than an adversary. Her unique Family Harmony System teaches parents of 5 and older how to have open dialogue, solve problems together, support one another, and build mutual respect. Cynthia is the author of Ally Parenting and the video-based self-paced program Win, Win, Win, Parenting. She has presented over 700 talks and coached hundreds of parents privately towards greater family connection and harmony. To learn more about her services of coaching and speaking, contact Cynthia Klein at , visit her website at bridges2understanding.com.
